Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
We hope that the aristocracy of this country will never get to valuing
a dog higher than it does a human being. When it gets so that a rich
person would not permit a poodle to do the work in a tobacco factory
that a poor girl does to support a sick mother, hell had better be
opened for summer boarders. When girls work ten hours a day stripping
nasty tobacco, and find at the end of the week that the fines for
speaking are larger than the wages, and the fines go for the conviction
of thieves who steal the girls' master's dog, no one need come around
here lecturing at a dollar a head and telling us there is no hell.
When a poor girl, who has gone creeping to her work at daylight, looks
out of the window at noon to see her master's carriage go by, in which
there is a five hundred dollar dog with a hundred dollar blanket on, and
a collar set with diamonds, lolling on satin cushions, and the girl is
fined ten cents for looking out of the window, you don't want to fool
away any time trying to get us to go to a heaven where such heartless
employers are expected.
It is seldom the _Sun_ gets on its ear, but it can say with great
fervency, “Damn a man that will work poor girls like slaves, and
pay them next to nothing, and spend ten thousand dollars to catch a
dog-thief!” If these sentiments are sinful, and for expressing them we
are a candidate for fire and brimstone, it is all right, and the devil
can stoke up and make up our bunk when he hears that we are on the
through train.
It seems now--though we may change our mind the first day at the
fire--as though we had rather be in hades with a hundred million people
who have always done the square thing, than to be in any heaven that
will pass a man in who has starved the poor and paid ten thousand
dollars to catch a dog-thief. We could have a confounded sight better
time, even if we had our ulster all burned off. It would be worth the
price of admission to stand with our back to the fire, and as we began
to smell woolen burning near the pistol pocket, to make up faces at the
ten-thousand-dollar-dog millionaires that were putting on style at the
other place.
*****
Andrews' _Bazar_ says: “Gathered waists are very much worn.”
If the men would gather the waists carefully and not squeeze so like
blazes, they would not be worn so much. Some men go to work gathering
a waist just as they would go to work washing sheep, or raking and
binding. They ought to gather as though it was eggs done up in a
funnel-shaped brown paper at a grocery.
The Black River Falls Independent says: “If you have any old pants to
give to the poor, take or send them to the Ladies' Relief Society.”
Well, we have got plenty of them; but, bless you, we doubt if any member
of the Ladies' Relief Society could wear them. They don't hook up.
ARTHUR WILL KEEP A COW.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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