Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
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Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
One of those Fourth of July accidents that are always looked for but
seldom occur, happened at Racine, Monday night, which struck terror to
the hearts and other portions of the bodies of many eminent citizens,
and that none were killed we can all thank Providence, who tempers the
fire-works to the sweaty citizen in his shirt sleeves. The enterprising
citizens had contributed a large sum of money, which had been
judiciously expended in all kinds of fire-works, and one side of the
public square was given up to the display.
Thousands of citizens had gathered there, from city and country, and
bright Roman candles shone o'er fair men and brave women, and sixteen
thousand nine hundred and twelve hearts beat happy, while music arose
with its voluptuous swell, and soft eyes looked love to eyes which spake
again, or words to that effect. At least that was what a young fellow
from Racine told us, who was there to see a specialist to have a
splinter from a rocket stick removed from his ear.
A few pieces had been shot off, a few bunches of crackers had had their
tails tied together and been hung over a wire clothes line, like cats,
to fight it out, and the crowd was holding its breath for the next boom,
when there was an explosion; the earth seemed to tremble, and the air
was full of all kinds of fire-works. The whole supply of fire-works had
become ignited, and were blowing off where they listeth, without regard
to anybody's feelings.
The crowd became panic stricken, and there never was another such a
scene, and never will be until the last great day, when a few thousand
people suddenly find that they have got into hell, by mistake, when they
thought they were ticketed through to the other place. It was perfectly
awful. Prominent citizens who usually display great pluck, became
fearfully rattled.
A man named Martindale, a railroad man who weighs over two hundred
pounds, was standing near a telegraph pole, and as the firing commenced
he climbed up the pole as easy as a squirrel would climb a tree, and
when it was over they had to get a fire ladder to get him down, as his
pants had got caught over the glass telegraph knob, and he had forgotten
the combination, and besides he said he didn't want to take off his
clothes up there and come down, even if it _was_ dark, because it would
be just his luck to have some one fire off a Roman candle when he got
down.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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