Penelope's Experiences in Scotland: Being Extracts from the Commonplace Book of Penelope Hamilton — John Shaqi
Penelope's Experiences in Scotland: Being Extracts from the Commonplace Book of Penelope HamiltonWiggin, Kate Douglas Smith
General
Penelope's Experiences in Scotland: Being Extracts from the Commonplace Book of Penelope Hamilton
Wiggin, Kate Douglas Smith
Scotland -- Fiction
Life at Mrs. M'Collop's apartments in 22 Breadalbane Terrace is about as
simple, comfortable, dignified, and delightful as it well can be.
Mrs. M'Collop herself is neat, thrifty, precise, tolerably genial, and
'verra releegious.'
Her partner, who is also the cook, is a person introduced to us as Miss
Diggity. We afterwards learned that this is spelled Dalgety, but it is
not considered good form, in Scotland, to pronounce the names of persons
and places as they are written. When, therefore, I allude to the cook,
which will be as seldom as possible, I shall speak of her as Miss
Diggity-Dalgety, so that I shall be presenting her correctly both to the
eye and to the ear, and giving her at the same time a hyphenated name, a
thing which is a secret object of aspiration in Great Britain.
In selecting our own letters and parcels from the common stock on the
hall table, I perceive that most of our fellow-lodgers are hyphenated
ladies, whose visiting-cards diffuse the intelligence that in their
single persons two ancient families and fortunes are united. On
the ground floor are the Misses Hepburn-Sciennes (pronounced
Hebburn-Sheens); on the floor above us are Miss Colquhoun (Cohoon)
and her cousin Miss Cockburn-Sinclair (Coburn-Sinkler). As soon as
the Hepburn-Sciennes depart, Mrs. M'Collop expects Mrs. Menzies of
Kilconquhar, of whom we shall speak as Mrs. Mingess of Kinyuchar.
There is not a man in the house; even the Boots is a girl, so that
22 Breadalbane Terrace is as truly a castra puellarum as was ever the
Castle of Edinburgh with its maiden princesses in the olden time.
We talked with Miss Diggity-Dalgety on the evening of our first day at
Mrs. M'Collop's, when she came up to know our commands. As Francesca
and Salemina were both in the room, I determined to be as Scotch as
possible, for it is Salemina's proud boast that she is taken for a
native of every country she visits.
“We shall not be entertaining at present, Miss Diggity,” I said, “so you
can give us just the ordinary dishes,--no doubt you are accustomed to
them: scones, baps or bannocks with marmalade, finnan-haddie or kippered
herring for breakfast; tea,--of course we never touch coffee in the
morning” (here Francesca started with surprise); “porridge, and we like
them well boiled, please” (I hope she noted the plural pronoun; Salemina
did, and blanched with envy); “minced collops for luncheon, or a nice
little black-faced chop; Scotch broth, pease brose or cockyleekie soup
at dinner, and haggis now and then, with a cold shape for dessert. That
is about the sort of thing we are accustomed to,--just plain Scotch
living.”
I was impressing Miss Diggity-Dalgety,--I could see that clearly; but
Francesca spoiled the effect by inquiring, maliciously, if we could
sometimes have a howtowdy wi' drappit eggs, or her favourite dish, wee
grumphie wi' neeps.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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