Evelyn and Primula too, now back at Lowndes Square, accentuated
uncertainty. They could talk of nothing but the soldiers they had seen
drilling in Kensington Gardens, the motor that had dashed—astounding
phenomenon—down the Broad Walk. They reminded him of the episode,
trivial at the time but constantly recurring, of Patricia’s brother,
Jack Baynet. Jack had been mobilized with the 6th Division; had asked
Peter and Patricia to visit him in Camp at Cambridge. Peter had promised
to go, cried off at the last moment. One couldn’t very well mingle, an
able-bodied civilian _in mufti_, with men who were going to France
within the week. . . .
An eternal Questioning! Everything, everybody, seemed an embodied and
personal demand. Everything, everybody—the khaki, blossoming now like a
brown flower at every street-corner; the boy Parkins who had to be
assured that his place would be kept before he enlisted; a traveller and
two mechanics at the factory who went first and asked afterwards; Miss
Macpherson’s eyes when she dictated the Havana mail; Pat. For Patricia
grew very silent those days. . . .
By the first week in September Peter had solved the Questioning; reduced
it to a question. And the question, briefly, was this: “To join up meant
the almost certain sacrifice of Nirvana. Not to join up, meant the
definite loss of self-respect. Which should he do?” He had no fear of
the soldiering part: on the contrary—being entirely and blessedly
ignorant of warfare’s actualities—it seemed to him the obvious,
glorious _and easy_ solution of his problem. To abandon his
business-responsibilities, on the other hand, implied—quite apart from
the pang of giving up the thing he most loved—a lack of moral courage,
a yielding to popular clamour.
Curiously enough, it was not Patricia but Hubert Rawlings who clinched
Peter’s decision.
§ 5
It was a month and three days since the outbreak of war. Paris—thought
Peter, as he sat alone in the back office at Lime Street—was
practically safe. Still, it might easily be six months before the
Cossacks got to Berlin. Meanwhile. . . .
The telephone-bell jangled; he took up the receiver, heard his
brother-in-law’s voice.
“Peter Jameson speaking. . . . That you, Hubert? . . . Right, I’ll be in
if you come along at once.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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