Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction; Youth -- Fiction
Peter flushed into astonishment and anger. He felt as if a strange hand
had suddenly drawn the curtain from the most secret corner of his being.
He felt as though he had been publicly stripped. He drew himself tightly
back into his seat.
The curtain dropped, and the lights went up for an interval. People in
the stalls talked and smiled. No flutter of misgiving troubled the
marble breasts of the great ladies. Men looked as before into the eyes
of their women. Nothing, it seemed, had happened.
Peter was amazed--his brain on fire with vague phrases of contempt. His
fingers shook in a passion of wrath as he gathered up his hat and coat.
Missing his way, he went into the bar. It was crowded with white-fronted
men, their hats set rakishly back, discussing with freedom and energy
the quality of the entertainment. Nothing of what Peter had seen or felt
seemed to have touched them. Suddenly Peter was greeted:
"Hullo, Paragon!"
The Hon. Freddie Dundoon was a Gamaliel man--one for whom Peter and the
college generally had much contempt, an amiable fool, of good blood,
but, as sometimes happens, of no manners or intelligence.
Peter muttered a greeting and passed on. But he was not so easily to get
away. Dundoon caught him by the arm.
"You're not going?" he protested.
"Yes, I am," said Peter, turning away his head. He did not like people
who breathed into his face.
"Stuff. Come and have a brandy and soda."
"No, thanks."
"What's the hurry?"
Peter stood in bitter patience, too exasperated to speak.
"Won't you really have a drink?" Dundoon persisted.
"No, thanks," Peter wearily repeated.
"Come home and see the mater. She's your sort. Books and all that."
"Many thanks," said Peter more politely. "I'm afraid I can't."
"Sorry you won't stop. I'd take you to Miss Beryl. Third stocking from
the right."
"Curse you. Let me get out of this."
Peter wrenched his arm rudely away. He blundered into a pendulous fat
man in the door, and turned to apologise. Dundoon was still looking
after him, his jaw fallen in a vacant surprise.
Peter thankfully breathed the cold pure air of the street. He walked at
random. He tried to collect himself, to discover why he had felt so
bitterly ashamed, so furiously angry. His young flesh was in arms. He
had seen a travesty of something he felt was, in its reality, great and
clean. His senses rebelled against the mockery to which they had been
invited. Sex was coming to the full in Peter. It waited in his blood and
brain. He was conscious in himself of a sleeping power, and conscious
that evening of an attempt to degrade it. He shrank instinctively.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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