Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction; Youth -- Fiction
Men at Gamaliel had called him a Puritan. He chafed at the term, feeling
in himself no hostility or distrust of life. It was the sly, mechanical
travesty of these things, peeping out of their talk, which offended him.
To-night he had seen this travesty offered to a great audience of men
and women. Brooding on a secret which had painted the butterfly and
tuned the note of an English bird, he had seen it to-night, for the
first time, as a punctual gluttony. Impatiently he probed into the roots
of his anger. It was not sex which thus had frightened him, but its
prostitution in the retinue of formal silliness.
The audience he found incredible. Either the entertainment meant nothing
at all or it was hideously profane. But the witnesses, whose diversity
of class, sex, age, and habit he had so enviously noted before the
curtain rose, seemed to see nothing at all. Mentally he made an
exception of the man from Gamaliel. He at any rate seemed to have a
scale of intelligible values--a scale whereby the third stocking from
the right could be accurately placed.
Peter had walked for about an hour. He had wandered in a circle and
found himself again outside the theatre he had left. The people were
streaming on to the pavement, unaffectedly happy after an evening of
formal fun--men and women who had been held in the grip of life, or who
stood, as Peter stood, upon the threshold, yet who apparently did not
object to witness a parody of their great adventure in a ballet of black
stockings. He watched the street noisily emptying as the audience
scattered. Soon he stood lonely and still, tired of the puzzle, his
anger exhausted.
A hand was slipped gently under his arm. He looked into a pretty
childish face, and realised that the woman was addressing him.
"You are waiting?" she suggested.
Peter stared at her for a moment--not realising. She met him with a
professional smile, her eyes filmy with a challenge, demurely evading
him. He understood, and shrank rudely away from her, with a quick return
of his anger. He saw in her face an effort to steel herself against his
impulsive recoil. He felt the repercussion of her shame.
But it passed. Her mouth hardened. She took her hand from his arm, and
mocking him with a light apology, slipped quietly away.
Peter moved impetuously forward. He felt a warm friendliness for the
woman in whom he had read a secret agony. For the first time that
evening he had come into touch with a fellow. She, too, felt something
of what was troubling him. His gesture of sympathy was not perceived. He
watched her dwindling down the street, and started to follow her. She
was allied with him against a world which had conspired to degrade them.
Then he saw she was no longer alone. She stood talking with a man upon
the pavement. Her companion hailed a cab, and they drove away together,
passing Peter where he had paused, transfixed with a pain at his heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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