Thus Bendel found me when he entered. He saw his master's sorrow, and
wanted silently and respectfully to turn back. I raised my eyes: the
weight of my grief was upon me--I determined to divide it. "Bendel!" I
called to him; "Bendel! you, who alone see and respect my sufferings, not
curiously prying into them, but secretly and devotedly sharing them with
me--come to me, Bendel, be the nearest to my heart. The stores of my
gold I have not concealed from you: from you I will not hide the store of
my anguish. Bendel, forsake me not. You know I am wealthy, kind, and
generous, and perhaps you think the world should honour me for that: but,
you see, I shun the world; I hide myself from its observation. Bendel,
the world has judged me and condemned me--and Bendel, too, perhaps, will
turn from me when he possesses my dreadful secret. Bendel! I am indeed
rich, liberal, and independent, but--heavens! I have no shadow!"
"No shadow!" echoed the good young man in an agony, while bright tears
broke from his eyelids; "Alas! alas! that I should have been born to
serve a shadowless master!" He was silent, and I hid my face in my
hands.
At last I tremblingly said, "Bendel! you have now my confidence--betray
it if you will--away! and bear witness against me." He seemed struggling
with internal emotion; he threw himself at my feet, seized my hand, and
bathed it with his tears. "No," he cried, "let the world say what it
may, I will not leave my good master for the sake of a shadow; I will do
what is right and not what is prudent: I will remain with you, I will
lend you my shadow; I will help you where I can; I will weep with you." I
fell on his neck, overcome with such an unexpected self-devotion. I felt
assured he did nothing for the sake of gold.
From that moment my fate and my mode of life changed. It is
indescribable how carefully Bendel sought to cover my defects. He was
ever before and with me, foreseeing everything, arranging everything, and
where unexpected danger threatened, covering me with his shadow, for he
was fortunately taller and stouter than I. Again I mingled with mankind,
and acted my part in the scenes of the world. It was necessary to assume
much singularity and queerness; but these sit well upon a rich man, and
while the truth lay concealed, I enjoyed all the honour and esteem to
which wealth has a claim. I looked with more calmness on the advancing
year and day, whose close was to bring with them the visit of the
mysterious unknown.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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