Petty Troubles of Married Life, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
Petty Troubles of Married Life, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage
Women eat little at a formal dinner: their concealed harness hampers
them, they are laced tightly, and they are in the presence of women
whose eyes and whose tongues are equally to be dreaded. They prefer
fancy eating to good eating, then: they will suck a lobster’s claw,
swallow a quail or two, punish a woodcock’s wing, beginning with a bit
of fresh fish, flavored by one of those sauces which are the glory of
French cooking. France is everywhere sovereign in matters of taste:
in painting, fashions, and the like. Gravy is the triumph of taste,
in cookery. So that grisettes, shopkeepers’ wives and duchesses are
delighted with a tasty little dinner washed down with the choicest
wines, of which, however, they drink but little, the whole concluded by
fruit such as can only be had at Paris; and especially delighted when
they go to the theatre to digest the little dinner, and listen, in a
comfortable box, to the nonsense uttered upon the stage, and to
that whispered in their ears to explain it. But then the bill of the
restaurant is one hundred francs, the box costs thirty, the carriage,
dress, gloves, bouquet, as much more. This gallantry amounts to the sum
of one hundred and sixty francs, which is hard upon four thousand francs
a month, if you go often to the Comic, the Italian, or the Grand,
Opera. Four thousand francs a month is the interest of a capital of
two millions. But then the honor of being a husband is fully worth the
price!
Caroline tells her friends things which she thinks exceedingly
flattering, but which cause a sagacious husband to make a wry face.
“Adolphe has been delightful for some time past. I don’t know what I
have done to deserve so much attention, but he overpowers me. He gives
value to everything by those delicate ways which have such an effect
upon us women. After taking me Monday to the _Rocher de Cancale_ to
dine, he declared that Very was as good a cook as Borrel, and he gave
me the little party of pleasure that I told you of all over again,
presenting me at dessert with a ticket for the opera. They sang ‘William
Tell,’ which, you know, is my craze.”
“You are lucky indeed,” returns Madame Deschars with evident jealousy.
“Still, a wife who discharges all her duties, deserves such luck, it
seems to me.”
When this terrible sentiment falls from the lips of a married woman, it
is clear that she _does her duty_, after the manner of school-boys, for
the reward she expects. At school, a prize is the object: in marriage, a
shawl or a piece of jewelry. No more love, then!
“As for me,”--Madame Deschars is piqued--“I am reasonable. Deschars
committed such follies once, but I put a stop to it. You see, my dear,
we have two children, and I confess that one or two hundred francs are
quite a consideration for me, as the mother of a family.”
“Dear me, madame,” says Madame de Fischtaminel, “it’s better that our
husbands should have cosy little times with us than with--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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