Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the secondVanbrugh, John
General
Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the second
Vanbrugh, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century
_Brass._ Here, he has cheated me of a diamond necklace.
_Cor._ Who, Papa? Ah dear me!
_Clar._ Pr'ythee what's the meaning of this great emotion, my dear?
_Gripe._ The meaning is that----I'm quite out of breath----this son of
a whore has got our necklace, that's all.
_Clar._ My necklace!
_Gripe._ That birdlime there--stole it.
_Clar._ Impossible!
_Brass._ Madam, you see master's a little----touch'd, that's all.
Twenty ounces of blood let loose, wou'd set all right again.
_Gripe._ Here, call a constable presently. Neighbour _Money-trap_,
you'll commit him.
_Brass._ D'ye hear? d'ye hear? See how wild he looks: how his eyes
roll in his head: tye him down, or he'll do some mischief or other.
_Gripe._ Let me come at him.
_Clar._ Hold----pr'ythee, my dear, reduce things to a little
temperance, and let us coolly into the secret of this disagreeable
rupture.
_Gripe._ Well then, without passion; why, you must know, (but I'll have
him hang'd) you must know that he came to Mr. _Clip_, to Mr. _Clip_ the
dog did----with a necklace to sell; so Mr. _Clip_ having notice before
that (can you deny this, Sirrah?) that you had lost yours, brings it to
me: Look at it here, do you know it again? Ah, you traitor.
[_To ~Brass~._
_Brass._ He makes me mad. Here's an appearance of something now to the
company, and yet nothing in't in the bottom.
_Enter Constable._
_Clar._ _Flippanta_!
[_Aside to ~Flippanta~, shewing the necklace._
_Flip._ 'Tis it, faith; here's some mystery in this, we must look about
us.
_Clar._ The safest way is point blank to disown the necklace.
_Flip._ Right, stick to that.
_Gripe._ Well, Madam, do you know your old acquaintance, ha?
_Clar._ Why, truly, my dear, tho' (as you may all imagine) I shou'd be
very glad to recover so valuable a thing as my necklace, yet I must be
just to all the world, this necklace is not mine.
_Brass._ Huzza----here constable do your duty; Mr. Justice, I demand my
necklace, and satisfaction of him.
_Gripe._ I'll die before I part with it, I'll keep it, and have him
hang'd.
_Clar._ But be a little calm, my dear, do my bird, and then thou'lt be
able to judge rightly of things.
_Gripe._ O good lack, O good lack.
_Clar._ No, but don't give way to fury and interest both, either of
'em are passions strong enough to lead a wise man out of the way. The
necklace not being really mine, give it the man again, and come drink a
dish of tea.
_Brass._ Ay, Madam says right.
_Gripe._ Oons, if you with your addle head don't know your own jewels,
I with my solid one do. And if I part with it, may famine be my portion.
_Clar._ But don't swear and curse thyself at this fearful rate; don't,
my dove: Be temperate in your words, and just in all your actions,
'twill bring a blessing upon you and all your family.
_Gripe._ Bring thunder and lightning upon me and my family, if I part
with my necklace.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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