_Miss._ I vow, Madam, I saw something in black, I thought it was a Spirit. _Col._ Why, Miss, did you ever see a Spirit? _Miss._ No, Sir; I thank God, I never saw any thing worse than myself. _Neverout._ Well, I did a very foolish thing yesterday, and was a great Puppy for my Pains. _Miss._ Very likely; for, they say, many a true Word’s spoke in Jest. [Footman _returns_. _Lady Smart._ Well, did you deliver your Message? You are fit to be sent for Sorrow, you stay so long by the Way. _Footman._ Madam, my Lady was not at Home, so I did not leave the Message. _Lady Smart._ This is it to send a Fool of an Errand. _Ld. Sparkish._ [_looking at his Watch._] ’Tis past Twelve a Clock. _Lady Smart._ Well, what is that among all us? _Ld. Sparkish._ Madam, I must take my Leave: Come, Gentlemen, are you for a March? _Lady Smart._ Well, but your Lordship and the Colonel will dine with us To-day; and, Mr. _Neverout_, I hope, we shall have your good Company: There will be no Soul else, besides my own Lord and these Ladies; for every body knows, I hate a Croud; I would rather want Vittles than Elbow-Room: We dine punctually at Three. _Ld. Sparkish._ Madam, we’ll be sure to attend your Ladyship. _Col._ Madam, my Stomach serves me instead of a Clock. [_Another_ Footman _comes back_. _Lady Smart._ Oh! you are the t’other Fellow I sent: Well, have you been with my Lady _Club_? You are good to send of a dead Man’s Errand. _Footman._ Madam, my Lady _Club_ begs your Ladyship’s Pardon; but she is engaged To-night. _Miss._ Well, Mr. _Neverout_, here’s the Back of my Hand to you. _Neverout._ Miss, I find, you will have the last Word. Ladies, I am more yours than my own. POLITE CONVERSATION, ETC. DIALOGUE II. _Lord_ Smart _and the former Company at Three a Clock coming to dine_. [_After Salutations._ _Lord Smart._ I’m sorry I was not at Home this Morning when you all did us the Honour to call here: But I went to the Levee To-day. _Ld. Sparkish._ Oh! my Lord; I’m sure the Loss was ours. _Lady Smart._ Gentlemen and Ladies, you are come to a sad dirty House; I am sorry for it, but we have had our Hands in Mortar. _Ld. Sparkish._ Oh! Madam; your Ladyship is pleas’d to say so, but I never saw any thing so clean and so fine; I profess, it is a perfect Paradise. _Lady Smart._ My Lord, your Lordship is always very obliging. _Ld. Sparkish._ Pray, Madam, whose Picture is that? _Lady Smart._ Why, my Lord, it was drawn for me. _Ld. Sparkish._ I’ll swear, the Painter did not flatter your Ladyship. _Col._ My Lord, the Day is finely clear’d up. _Ld. Smart._ Ay, Colonel; ’tis a pity that fair Weather should ever do any Harm. [_To Neverout._] Why, _Tom_, you are high in the Mode. _Neverout._ My Lord, it is better be out of the World, than out of the Fashion. _Ld. Smart._ But, _Tom_, I hear, You and Miss are always quarrelling; I fear, it is your Fault; for I can assure you, she is very good-humour’d.