"Sir!" said the young lady indignantly. "There is nothing of the kind intimated in the poem. The lines are imaginary and are intended to express the sorrow of a poet's friend at his untimely demise." "Why, miss," said the night editor, "it plainly refers to midnight oil, and a crash, and when the light blew up the gent was left for dead in the room." "You horrid thing," said the young lady, "give me my manuscript. I will bring it back when the literary editor is in." "I'm sorry," said the night editor as he handed her the roll. "We're short on news tonight, and it would have made a nice little scoop. Don't happen to know of any accidents in your ward: births, runaways, holdups, or breach of promise suits, do you?" But the slamming of the door was the only answer from the fair poetess. Just for a Change The "lullaby boy" to the same old tune, Who abandons his drum and toys, For the purpose of dying in early June, Is the kind the public enjoys. But, just for a change please sing us a song, Of the sore-toed boy that's fly, And freckled, and mean, and ugly, and strong, And positively will not die. Too Wise Here is a man in Houston who keeps quite abreast of the times. He reads the papers, has traveled extensively and is an excellent judge of human nature. He has a natural gift for detecting humbugs and fakirs, and it would be a smooth artist indeed who could impose upon him in any way. Last night as he was going home, a shady looking man with his hat pulled over his eyes stepped out from a doorway and said: "Say, gent, here's a fine diamond ring I found in de gutter. I don't want to get into no trouble wid it. Gimme a dollar and take it." The Houston man smiled as he looked at the flashy ring the man held toward him. "A very good game, my man," he said, "but the police are hot after you fellows. You had better select your rhinestone customers with better judgment. Good night." When the man got home he found his wife in tears. "Oh, John," she said. "I went shopping this afternoon and lost my solitaire diamond ring. Oh, what shall I--" John turned without a word and rushed back down the street, but the shady-looking man was not to be found. His wife often wonders why he never scolded her for losing the ring. A Fatal Error "What are you looking so glum about?" asked a Houston man as he dropped into a friend's office on Christmas Day.