[Enter handsome black velour cape, trimmed with jet and braid, with Tibetan fur collar, all enclosing lovely young lady.] Young lady Oh, I want to send a telegram at once, if you please. Give me about six blanks, please. [Writes about ten minutes.] How much will this amount to, please? Clerk [counting words] Sixteen dollars and ninety-five cents, ma'am. Young lady Goodness gracious! I've only thirty cents with me. [Suspiciously.] How is it you charge so much, when the post-office only requires two cents? Clerk We claim to deliver messages quicker than the post-office, ma'am. You can send ten words to Waco for twenty-five cents. Young lady Give me another blank, please: I guess that will be enough. [After five minutes' hard work she produces the following: "Ring was awfully lovely. Come down as soon as you can. Mamie."] Clerk This contains eleven words. That will be thirty cents. Young lady Oh, gracious! I wanted that nickel to buy gum with. Clerk Let's see. You might strike out, "awfully," and that will make it all right. Young lady Indeed I shan't. You ought to see that ring. I'll give you the thirty cents. Clerk To whom is this to be sent? Young lady It seems to me you are rather inquisitive, sir. Clerk [wearily] I assure you there is no personal interest expressed in the question. We have to know the name and address in order to send the message. Young lady Oh, yes. I didn't think of that. [She writes the name and address, pays the thirty cents and departs. Twenty minutes later she returns, out of breath.] Young lady Oh, I forgot something. Have you sent it off yet? Clerk Yes, ten minutes ago. Young lady Oh, I'm so sorry. It isn't the way I wanted it at all. Can't you telegraph and have it changed for me? Clerk Is it anything important? Young lady Yes: I wanted to underscore the words "awfully lovely." Will you have that attended to at once? Clerk Certainly, and we have some real nice violet extract; would you like a few drops on your telegram? Young lady Oh, yes: so kind of you. I expect to send all my telegrams through your office, you have been so accommodating. Good morning. An Opportunity Declined A farmer who lives about four miles from Houston noticed a stranger in his front yard one afternoon last week acting in a rather unusual manner. He wore a pair of duck trousers stuffed in his boots, and had a nose the color of Elgin pressed brick. In his hand he held a sharpened stake about two feet long, which he would stick into the ground, and after sighting over it at various objects would pull it up and go through the same performance at another place. The farmer went out in the yard and inquired what he wanted.