American fiction -- 19th century; American poetry -- 19th century; American wit and humor; Short stories, American
It appears that ladies who are past thirty-five years of age are
peculiarly sensitive to the effect of a bright light striking upon
their heads from above. The skull of a woman is quite different from
that of a man, especially on the top, and at the age of thirty-five,
the texture of the skull at this place becomes very light. Rays of
light--especially electric light--have a peculiarly penetrating and
disturbing effect upon the cerebral nerves.
Strange to say, this infirmity is never felt by a young woman, but as
soon as she passes the heyday of youth, it is at once perceptible. The
fact is generally known to women, and discussed among themselves, but
they have jealously guarded the secret, even from their nearest male
relatives and friends. The lady physician who recently exposed the
matter in a scientific journal is the first of her sex to make it
known to the public.
If anyone will take the trouble to make a test of the statement, its
truth will be unquestionably proven. Engage a woman of middle age in
conversation beneath a well-lighted chandelier, and in a few moments
she will grow uneasy, and very soon the pain inflicted by the light
will cause her to move away from under its source. On young and
healthy girls the rays of light have no perceptible effect. So, when
we see a lady at a theater wearing a tall and cumbersome hat, we
should reflect that she is more than thirty-five years old, and is
simply protecting herself from an affliction that advancing years have
brought upon her. Whenever we observe one wearing small and
unobtrusive headgear we know that she is still young and charming, and
can yet sit beneath the rays of penetrating light without
inconvenience.
No man who has had occasion to rail against woman's supposed
indifference to the public comfort in this respect, will hesitate to
express sincere regret that he has so misunderstood them. It is
characteristic of Americans to respect the infirmities of age,
especially among the fair sex, and when the facts here narrated have
been generally known, pity and toleration will take the place of
censure. Henceforth a tall hat, with nodding feathers and clustering
flowers and trimming, will not be regarded with aversion when we see
it between us and the stage, but with respect, since we are assured
that its wearer is no longer young, but is already on the down hill of
life, and is forced to take the precaution that advancing years render
necessary to infirm women.
A Startling Demonstration
What a terrible state of affairs it would be if we could read each
other's minds! It is safe to say that if such were the case, most of
us would be afraid to think above a whisper.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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