American fiction -- 19th century; American poetry -- 19th century; American wit and humor; Short stories, American
As an illustration, a case might be cited that occurred in Houston.
Some months ago a very charming young lady came to this city giving
exhibitions in mind reading, and proved herself to be marvelously
gifted in that respect. She easily read the thoughts of the audience,
finding many articles hidden by simply holding the hand of the person
secreting them, and read sentences written on little slips of paper by
some at a considerable distance from her.
A young man in Houston fell in love with her, and married her after a
short courtship. They went to housekeeping and for a time were as
happy as mortals can be.
One evening they were sitting on the porch of their residence holding
each other's hands, and wrapt in the close communion of mutual love,
when she suddenly rose and knocked him down the steps with a large
flowerpot. He arose astonished, with a big bump on his head, and asked
her, if it were not too much trouble, to explain.
"You can't fool me," she said with flashing eyes. "You were thinking
of a redheaded girl named Maud with a gold plug in her front tooth and
a light pink waist and a black silk skirt on Rusk Avenue, standing
under a cedar bush chewing gum at twenty minutes to eight with your
arm around her waist and calling her 'sweetness,' while she fooled
with your watch chain and said: 'Oh, George, give me a chance to
breathe,' and her mother was calling her to supper. Don't you dare to
deny it. Now, when you can get your mind on something better than
that, you can come in the house and not before."
Then the door slammed and George and the broken flowerpot were alone.
Leap Year Advice
Spinsters must be up and doing: 1896 will be the only leap year for
the next eight years. Once in every four years the wise men who made
the calendar insert an extra day so that the average year will not be
so short. Once in every hundred years this extra day is omitted, and a
leap year is also dropped. The year 1900 will not be a leap year.
Unmarried ladies who yearn for matrimonial chains, and have been left
standing in the comer by fickle man must get to work. If they fail in
landing their prize during 1896 they will have to wait eight years
more before they can propose again. Therefore they should work early
and late during the present year.
The following communication pertaining to the subject was received
yesterday.
Houston, Texas, January 1, 1896.
The Houston Post.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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