Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts — John Shaqi
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
_O’C. comes in, looking displeased. PADDY goes out, doleful._
PEGGY. I see you’re angry, Hugh. But mother sent me after uncle Tim.
O’C. I’m not angry. I’m ashamed of this place.
PEGGY. I’m not looking at the place at all. Is uncle in the kitchen?
O’C. Yes.
PEGGY. Will you tell him to go home? Mother wants him back.
O’C. I’m not holding him. But I won’t ask him to go. That would be
breaking an old custom in this house.
PEGGY. Will you let me see him?
O’C. I think he’s coming in.... [_Calls_] Come in, Professor.
PEGGY. Hugh, don’t call him Professor.... It hurts.
_PROF. comes in eating biscuits and cheese._
PROF. Hallo, pretty Peggy. Have you tracked me down already?
O’C. I’ll leave you....
PEGGY. You needn’t, Hugh.... Uncle Tim, you’re to come home.
PROF. Want the luxury of throwing me out again?
PEGGY. I didn’t throw you out.
PROF. Your mother did.
PEGGY. Well, she wants you back. She sent me to fetch you. The
stationmaster has sent out your valise....
PROF. Your mother must think it contains something valuable.
[_Chuckling._] Gum, she’s mistaken. The contents are some old clothes
and a hazel rod--the symbol of my profession.
PEGGY. Hugh, won’t you tell him to come with me? Please.
O’C. He can suit himself, Peggy. He knows how matters are here.
PROF. I’ll stroll over after a bit, Peggy. We’re going to’ve an
auction here. Gum, I’ll stay till it’s over.... See a bit of Irish life.
_PADDY puts his head in._
PADDY. There’s a railway porter here with an ould port-mantle. He
wants a tip.
PROF. Gum, Paddy, you’ve got a sense of humour. [_Going_] I thought
I’d dropped it in London. [_Goes out._]
PEGGY. Are the Kilroys here?
O’C. Yes, they’re hovering around somewhere--like jackals.
PEGGY. They’re going to buy Rush Hill for Joseph and me.
O’C. So I believe.
PEGGY. And you don’t mind?
O’C. Don’t mind? That’s a rather funny question. Suppose I did mind.
Would that alter it?
PEGGY. You never know. Marrying Joseph Kilroy is one thing, but
coming to live here is another.
O’C. If you can do the one you can do both.
PEGGY. I may do neither. What time are you leaving here to-night?
O’C. Whatever time the last train goes. Seven o’clock, I think.
PEGGY. I’m going to ask you a pointed question, Hugh. How much money
have you?
O’C. I got two hundred pounds for Havoc. I’ve that, but I’ve to pay
for a colt out of it. Forty pounds.
PEGGY [_takes out packet_]. These presents would make two hundred
more. If you don’t sell them, I will!
O’C. Suit yourself.
PEGGY. Will you call at our house before you go?
O’C. What’s the idea, Peggy?
PEGGY. Never mind that now. Will you call?
O’C. Some new notion. I’ll call anyhow. About six.
PEGGY. Thanks. [_Puts the packet in her pocket._] I’ll expect you at
six.... I’ll go now and try and get uncle Tim to come home with me....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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