Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
PAUL. Well, begorry, I’ve tramped Ireland, England, and parts of
Scotland, but there is the worst specimen of the landed aristocracy I’ve
met.... That’s the sort of democrats the Land League left behind it.
[_Shouts._] Hi, Dan! You may emerge from your rat-hole. Ould Clanricarde
has gone out.
_DAN DEEGAN comes in back. He is a wild-visaged man of medium
height, with hair turning from grey to whiteness. He is clothed
a few degrees worse than a hired servant, and moves with quick,
furtive gestures._
DAN. What did my fader say, Paul? In God’s name, amen.
PAUL. Well, he seems to think, Dan, you’ve been sporting your figure
at M’Gothigan’s dance....
DAN. Flames, has he heard I was there? What did he say? Did he
mention Rose? Quick, man, for your sowl, and tell a buddy.
PAUL. Oh, he knows all about your love affair, Dan. But I must say he
took a very wide view of it. He says what is very true--that you have to
marry some time and why not now?
DAN. My sowl, that is a wide view!
PAUL. He also says that you were always a headstrong lad, and he
supposes if you’ve made Rose M’Gothigan a promise that you’ll stick to
it....
DAN [_excited_]. Did he say that, Paul? Did he call me a stubbornt
fella?
PAUL. Stiff-necked and stubborn were the words he used.
DAN. I’m in flames, but he’s right! I was always as stiff as a mule
if I took a thing in my head.... But I didn’t speak the word to Rose,
Paul....
PAUL. Eh! Is that the next of it? Let you answer me a few simple
questions. Didn’t you sit beside her last night till the cocks were
crowing this morning?
DAN. I did, heth.
PAUL. And didn’t you hold her hand for hours at a stretch?
DAN. I’ll never deny it.
PAUL. And didn’t you slip her a conversation-lozenger with the
inscription upon it:
“I love you very dearly,
And if you love me,
In spite of wind and weather
We shall married be.”
DAN. I did, heth. And she read it and laft her fill.
PAUL. And then you have the nerve to stand there and tell me you’re
not engaged!
DAN [_confused_]. Does Rose think I axed her?
PAUL. Aye, and what is more important, her father and mother both
maintain that you axed her....
DAN. Oh, flames! has it went that far?
PAUL. But they all know the sort of James Deegan, J.P. They know you
can’t bring a wife in here without his consent....
DAN. Is that gospel true, Paul? Would Rose and her fader and mother
agree to wait?
PAUL. Rose is only in the bud, and can afford to wait as long as you
like.
DAN. Then, I’m in flames, but that settles it! I’ll see Rose this
night, afore I lay my side to a bed, and settle the match.... That’s the
sort of me. If ever I made up my mind to do a thing, I always tore
through it like a mad bull with the cholic.
PAUL. Now that’s bould, headstrong talk. Now I like the way you
lowered your brows when you said that. I never saw such determination in
my life....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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