DAN. What finger, Paul? PAUL. Oh, she’ll hould out the correct finger, never fear you. DAN. But if it wouldn’t fit, Paul? PAUL. Then try some of the others. Put it on any finger it fits. The main thing is to get it on. DAN. But what am I to say, Paul? How does other people do it? PAUL. There is no cut-and-dry formula, Dan. Some proposes with tears in their eyes, and others with their eyes tight shut. And some says one thing and some another. But in your case, something like this might do: “Rose dear, after long and serious consideration, I’ve decided to ask you to be Mrs. Dan Deegan. Now or never, Rose, will you marry me?” DAN. Sowl, that’s fine talk, Paul. You’re a handy boy wi’ the tongue. PAUL [_going_]. When you’re nicely groomed and the face scrubbed, sing a lilt of a song, and I’ll fetch Rose in. [_He goes out back._] DAN [_scrubbing his face_]. Rose dear, after long and sarious confederation, I’ve decided to ask you to be my wedded wife. [_Shakes his head._] I don’t think that’s Paul’s version of it.... [_Struggles with the dicky._] Is confederation or conflageration the best word?... Och, what odds about a word? She’ll know what I mean, and that’s the main thing. [_Gets the dicky fastened, and sings._] “No pipe I’ll smoke, no horse I’ll yoke, Till my plough with rust turns brown: Till a smiling maid, by my own fireside, Sits the star of the County Down.” _PAUL and ROSE M’GOTHIGAN come in back. ROSE is a pretty girl, aged twenty._ PAUL. By glory above, Dan, you’ve a voice like a piccolo. About a fortnight in Italy would make you perfect. DAN. Och, you’re only sconcing me, Paul. I wasn’t singing that well at all. [_Shakes hands with ROSE._] Morra, Rose. You’re welcome there. How are you feeling after the ball? ROSE. The best, Dan. How’s yourself? DAN. Oh, as right as the mail. [_Shakes his head._] We’d a big night, Rose.... The biggest night ever I put in. ROSE. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Dan. [_Looks about_] This is a fine big kitchen. DAN. Heth, sowl, it’s big enough. It’s like a gaol-yard. ROSE. It wants for nothing, Dan. DAN. Oh, it’s very complete, Rose. PAUL. Now that’s where you’re wrong, the pair of you. It is by no means complete. It wants the main feature. Wait and I’ll explain what I mean. [_Brings the old armchair to the fireside._] Now, my decent girl, subside into that chair.... ROSE. Oh, Paul, I haven’t a minute. PAUL. But I won’t keep you a second. I only want to let Dan see what I’m driving at. [_ROSE sits down._] There now. The kitchen is no longer a gaol. ’Tis a home sweet home. DAN [_chortling_]. Sowl, Paul, it takes yourself. PAUL. Now, Rose, I’ll ask you one simple question. If Dan had no one but himself in the world, wouldn’t you be content to fill that chair for life and for ever? ROSE. I suppose I would. DAN. And it’s my mother’s chair, too, Rose. Rest her in pace, amen.