Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
PAUL. Well, she’s the heifer your father’s off to see, Dan.
[_Listens._] Whisht! And, begorry, she hasn’t kept him long ... here
he’s back. [_He runs into the room._]
DAN [_wildly_]. My fader, my fader, as God’s my judge!
ROSE [_leaps up_]. Oh, Dan, Dan!
DAN. Hide the ring--hide the ring!
_OLD DEEGAN comes in back._
OLD DEEGAN. Just so. I beg leave to be excused for coming in without
knocking.
ROSE. I’ll be going, Dan....
OLD DEEGAN. Tarry a moment, Miss M’Gothigan.
DAN [_shaking_]. I was only showing her the new house, fader.
DEEGAN. Did you tell her who built the new house?
DAN. Oh, the whole world knows that, fader. It was yourself built it
and paid it.
DEEGAN. How do you know whether it’s paid or not, young man?
DAN [_dashed_]. Oh, well, I hope it is, anyway.
DEEGAN. That’s a good boy. Hope well and you’ll have well. [_Glancing
at the chair_] You have been trying how Miss M’Gothigan would fill your
mother’s chair, I see.
DAN [_broken_]. She was only in it a minute, fader.
DEEGAN. And you have on your good dicky, I observe.
DAN. I only put it on after you went out, fader.
DEEGAN. Take it off, sir!
DAN. Yes, fader. [_Goes back and struggles with dicky._]
DEEGAN. Does the new house suit you, Miss M’Gothigan?
ROSE [_choking_]. It’s a fine house, sir....
DEEGAN. It will be a fine home for a young woman with certain
qualifications. Daniel would be inclined to be rash in these matters,
but I’ll take care he makes no mistakes. Now I won’t detain you, Miss
M’Gothigan. I’ll bid you a good evening.
ROSE. Good ... evening.... [_Goes out sobbing._]
DEEGAN [_wipes the chair with his handkerchief and sits down_]. Come
forward, boy.
DAN. Yes, fader. [_Stands forward._]
DEEGAN. Is there anything between you and that low-born trull of
Denis M’Gothigan’s?
DAN. Not a ha’porth, fader. Thank God, amen.
DEEGAN. What authority had you to bring her into my house?
DAN. It was Paul Twyning, fader. He axed her in to see the
plastering.
DEEGAN. And what authority had Paul Twyning to invite a strange
female in here?
DAN. I don’t know, fader. Him and the M’Gothigans is very pact. Maybe
that was it.
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning and the M’Gothigans are much the same breed of
inferiors. Tell Paul Twyning to come forth.
DAN. Yes, fader. [_Goes to the room door and shouts_] Paul Twyning,
you’re awanting! [_PAUL appears._] My fader wants you, Paul. [_Aside_]
Not a word, Paul, for the love of God, amen. I’m denying everything.
PAUL [_coming forward_]. Well, your honour, have you brought the ould
aisy-chair across to the new hearth? Long may you fill it in comfort.
DEEGAN. Oh, thank you.... It won’t be long empty when I’m gone....
Was it you invited that person M’Gothigan to inspect the new house in my
absence?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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