Association of ideas; Memory; Paragrammatism; Psychoanalysis; Psychology, Pathological; Repression (Psychology)
“She referred to an abortion which was started by a quack and had to be
brought to completion by a gynecologist. This abortion was initiated
with the consent of her husband, as both wished, on account of their
pecuniary circumstances, to be spared from being additionally blessed
with children.
“She said: ‘I had often reproached myself with the words, “You really
had your child killed,” and I feared that such a crime could not
remain unpunished. Now that you have assured me that there is nothing
seriously wrong with my eyes I am quite assured I have already been
sufficiently punished.’
“This accident, therefore, was, on the one hand, a retribution for
her sin, but, on the other hand, it may have served as an escape from
a more dire punishment which she had feared for many months. In the
moment that she ran to the shop to buy the picture the memory of this
whole history, with its fears (already quite active in her unconscious
at the time she warned her husband), became overwhelming and could
perhaps find expression in words like these: ‘But why do you want an
ornament for the nursery?--you who had your child killed! You are a
murderer! The great punishment is surely approaching!’
“This thought did not become conscious, but instead of it she made use
of the situation--I might say of the psychologic moment--to utilize
in a commonplace manner the heap of stones to inflict upon herself
this punishment. It was for this reason that she did not even attempt
to put out her arms while falling and was not much frightened. The
second, and probably lesser, determinant of her accident was obviously
the self-punishment for her unconscious wish to be rid of her husband,
who was an accessory to the crime in this affair. This was betrayed by
her absolutely superfluous warning to be very careful in the street on
account of the stones. For, just because her husband had a weak leg, he
was very careful in walking.”
If such a rage against one’s own integrity and one’s own life
can be hidden behind apparently accidental awkwardness and motor
insufficiency, then it is not a big step forward to grasp the
possibility of transferring the same conception to mistakes which
seriously endanger the life and health of others. What I can put
forward as evidence for the validity of this conception was taken
from my experience with neurotics, and hence does not fully meet the
demands of this situation. I will report a case in which it was not
an erroneously carried-out action, but what may be more aptly termed
a symbolic or chance action that gave me the clue which later made
possible the solution of the patient’s conflict.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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