(_Post-mark, Drury Lane._) Engage you at once for ten years. Probably shall not require you for more than three or four months, but shall retain you for the rest of the time. May come in useful later on. Place waiting for you in the Pantomime. Minute and a half in English History in twenty minutes. Also comic scene with the Clown. The engagement must have clause allowing transference. Can find places for your wives (if they are really nice ones) in the Transformation Scene. If you can imitate the cries &c., of wild beasts, &c., think I can get you a turn at the Palace. Writing a first-rate part for you in Autumn drama. A sort of gentlemanly demon, who appears in the West End during the first and third Acts, and in the last scene, appears in national costume with a real army and the whole bag of tricks. Bring as many of your army with you as you can. Can find something for them to do until the production of the Autumn drama. Collect a good lot of assegais and other useful props. May see way to working you into the Opera season. If you can sing, can give you a show at a concert. Might do for German series. Terms as per usual. Special arrangement if wanted at Windsor. Come over at once. On second thoughts, remain where you are. Will run over to have a chat. Third, and last thought, come over yourself. Find myself, with my engagements, just now a little pressed for time. _Au revoir!_ * * * * * [Illustration: A NOVELTY. _Mr. Cylinder_ (_who always uses his Host's cartridges_). "WHAT POWDER ARE THESE LOADED WITH, MY BOY?" _Beater._ "AR DOAN'T RIGHTLY KNOW; BUT AR THINK THEY CALLS IT SERDLITZ POODER!"] * * * * * Coal and Wood. ["_That a Board of Conciliation be constituted forthwith, to last for one year at least, consisting of an equal number of coalowners and miners' representatives, fourteen of each_."--_Terms of the Collieries Strike Conference._] Hooray for happy harmony so readily restored! Thanks chiefly to young ROSEBERY, that shrewd and genial lord. And _Mr. Punch_ is thankful, for such strikes we can't afford, That in the Labour _platform_ the newest _plank_'s a _Board_! * * * * * AN ORNITHOLOGICAL OUTBURST. ["A specimen of the rare white-tailed eagle has just been shot at Bude Haven, Cornwall."--_Daily Paper, Nov. 24._] Ah! shades of YARRELL, MORRIS, BEWICK, WOOD, Swoop down from Nephelococcygian eyrie With legions of bird-phantoms, Roc-ghosts and spectral bantams, And venge the Vandal sporting-man's vagary, Wrought on your race in Cornwall's bay of Bude! A _Haliaëtus_ he's done to death! Haunt him and harry, ossifrage and osprey! Hoot, owl! Croak havoc, raven! He of that wave-beat haven Should--like the Ancient, of the Albatross--pray For tardy pardon till his latest breath!