_Voter._ Are you sure you are quite steady? _Candidate._ Quite. And I am prepared to give the best time of my life to the consideration of the most important---- _V._ Thank you, that will do. But do you think that a carriage is necessary for a wife? _C._ Certainly, and it would be a grievance if she had not one. By a development of the trade of the country I believe that---- _V._ Thank you, that will do. And I suppose you admit the equality of the sexes? _C._ Undoubtedly, considering that the highest places in the university class lists are carried off by---- _V._ Thank you, that will do. And I suppose you, if elected, will have a fortune sufficiently ample to afford a house in Eaton Square, a place in the country, a yacht in the Solent, a box at the opera, and all the other necessary etceteras? _C._ Most probably. I hold it to be the duty of every legislator to see that his wealth is sufficient to enable him to give his individual time to the service of his constituents, and---- _V._ Thank you, that will do. I presume, if you married, you would like your wife's mother to occasionally visit her daughter? _C._ Theoretically, yes. Judging for others, I would say that no subject of greater interest than happy domestic arrangement could be imagined. I would insist that the well-being of the family circle is of paramount importance, and that---- _V._ Thank you, that will do. And now for my last question. If you are elected will you be prepared to marry my eldest daughter? _C._ That is a matter of great moment which requires the most careful consideration. Without absolutely pledging myself to any course of action, I may declare that---- _V._ Thank you, that will do. And now I will examine your opponent! * * * * * PALINODE. ["In my old Radical days."--_Mr. Chamberlain._] Yes, I once was a smart little Rad Who talked about "lilies" and "ransom." Those views, which were shallow and mad, I retract, in a manner most handsome. Eh? "Skeletons," "Armchairs"? Oh no! I hold they are traitors or sillies, Who talk (like the juvenile JOE) About skeletons, ransom, and lilies! Ri fol de rol liddle lol dol! I _might_ be indulging to-day In the rampant and rancorous Rad's tone, Swearing "lilies" full "ransom" must pay, If it hadn't a-been for that GLADSTONE! _He_ serves as a warning to _me_, A sort of political helot; But, thanks to old W. G., I'm no longer a radical zealot! Ri fol de rol liddle lol dol! * * * * * [Illustration: "A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO."