Punch, or the London Charivari, January 12th, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, January 12th, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
(_An Episode in the Life of A. Briefless, Junior, Esq.,
Barrister-at-Law, in Three Parts._)
PART I.--_The Coming into Possession of the Donkey._
"Yes, Sir," said my excellent and admirable clerk, PORTINGTON, "he
came here three times, about a month ago. We thought he was mad, so
would not let him in. But the third time he left that parcel and that
letter. You see, Sir, they are tied together, and as there was a bomb
scare on at the time, we did not touch them. That's how it comes, Sir,
that you have not had them earlier."
I must confess I was a little annoyed. I frequently absent myself from
Pump-Handle Court for days and even weeks together, and then I expect
my clerical (I use the adjective in its non-ecclesiastical sense)
representative to forward my correspondence.
"It cannot be helped, PORTINGTON," I replied; "all I care for are the
interests of my clients. If the visitor was one anxious to lay
his case before me, I can only trust he has not suffered by my
unpremeditated absence."
"I do not think he will have to complain of that, Sir. And as to his
case, we don't know whether it is one; none of us like to touch the
parcel, lest it should go off."
"You mean with a report--it must get reported," I suggested, with a
smile. I allow myself a little frolicsome levity at Yuletide. "Well,
where is it?"
"In your room, Sir," and PORTINGTON led the way to my special
apartment.
I found my chamber tenanted by a miscellaneous collection of articles.
Truth to tell I do not use my rooms very frequently, and consequently
it has become a sort of a proverb amongst my co-parceners in
Pump-Handle Court, _à propos_ of anything of a cumbersome character,
"When in doubt, put it into BRIEFLESS'S cupboard." Not that I really
occupy a cupboard; my room (I lay the emphasis on the word) is far
more commodious than the largest specimen of those receptacles.
Consequently, I was not altogether surprised to find collected
together a banjo-case, some curtain rods, a number of framed pictures,
and a damaged bicycle. In the centre of the room was an oblong parcel,
to which was tied an envelope, doubtless containing an enclosure.
With some slight trepidation--I had no wish to accompany Pump-Handle
Court to the skies--I opened the letter. It ran as follows:--
"To A. BRIEFLESS, JUNIOR, ESQ.--Dear and Honoured Sir,--I have long
desired to show you some token of goodwill. I have frequently read
your contributions to the leading legal paper of the day (I refer,
of course, to the _London Charivari_), and have been filled with
admiration at the clearness of your style and the depth of your
knowledge of what may be termed the duplex action of the human heart.
As I happen to be Emperor of CHINA I write anonymously. I have been
ruined by law and the lawyers. You have never represented me or
opposed me. For this I am very, very grateful, and beg you to accept
the accompanying present. It is a ---- But hush, we are observed."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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