Would I were poor (but not too poor), A working plumber, say, by trade, One of the class for whom the lure Of Liberal Chancellors is laid; For then no single sou from my revenue Should go to swell the Treasury's bin, Save indirectly through my breakfast-menu, My pipe, my beer, my gin. Would I were rich (O passing rich), One of the idlers, softly bred, From whom the hands of David itch To pluck their plumage, quick or dead; For then, a super-man, I'd scorn to grudge it-- This super-tax on my estate, But like a bird contribute to his Budget The paltry two-and-eight. Alas, not being this nor that, But just a middling type of man, Neither a bloated plutocrat Nor yet a pampered artisan, I am not spared, nay, I am hardest smitten, Although 'tis held (and I agree) That half the backbone of these Isles of Britain Is made of stuff like me. O brothers, ye who follow Art, Shunning the crowds that strive and pant Indifferent how you please the mart So you may keep your souls extant, Lloyd none the less is down upon your earnings, And from the increment that flows (With blood and tears) from your poetic yearnings You pay him through the nose. These very lines, in which I couch My plaint of him and all his works-- Even from these he means to pouch, Roughly, his six per cent. of perks; This thought has left me singularly moody; I fail to join in George's joke; So strongly I resent the extra 2d. Pinched from my modest poke. O. S. * * * * * MR. ROOSEVELT'S DISCOVERIES. Scrapping the Map in Brazil. We are glad to be able to supplement with some further interesting details the meagre accounts of Mr. Roosevelt's explorations in Brazil which have appeared in the daily papers. Not only did Mr. Roosevelt add to the map a new river nearly a thousand miles long, but he has discovered a gigantic mountain, hitherto undreamt of even by Dr. Cook, to which he has attached the picturesque name of Mount Skyscraper. The lower slopes were thickly infested with cannibals, whom Mr. Roosevelt converted from anthropophagy by a sermon lasting six hours and containing 300,000 words--almost exactly as many as are contained in Mr. de Morgan's new novel.