Punch, or the London Charivari, November 25, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, November 25, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_House of Commons, Monday, November 13._--TOMLINSON has for some time
observed with deepening disfavour his position in House as affected
by, and compared with, that of his friend and companion dear, TOMASSO
BOWLES. TOMMY, to drop into the affectionate diminutive, is a mere
child compared with him. He is but the birth of the last General
Election; whilst for thirteen years this very month TOMLINSON has
presented at Westminster Preston's idea of the highest form of culture
and intelligence.
Employers' Liability Bill offered opportunity for coming to front;
not that either as Employer or Employed TOMLINSON has any special
knowledge on subject. But he sees as clearly into its bearings as
he does through the average Lancashire stone wall. Awake at nights
drafting new Clauses that should baffle ASQUITH and make the SQUIRE OF
MALWOOD sit up. Looked most imposing on paper. Thought at one time of
posting copy to every elector of Preston, so that he might see what
a power in Senate is the borough Member. Wouldn't cost so much since,
posted at House of Commons in official wrapper, they might go free.
Still there would be remarks made if TOMLINSON drove into Palace
Yard enthroned on top of waggon containing 15,959 addressed copies of
Amendments to Employers' Liability Bill. Gave up idea. Electors
must buy the papers where, in Parliamentary reports, they would read
voluminous digests of his speeches.
Began soon after House took up Bill this afternoon. First group of
Amendments covered folio page of print. Read admirably; if it had not
been usual for Member in charge of new Clause to explain to House its
object and effect in operation success would have been assured. Here's
where TOMLINSON came to grief; talked for some time; House listened at
first, honestly intent upon considering project, whatever it might he.
Effect of TOMLINSON'S speech not elucidatory. The more he talked the
more hopeless the muddle. When he sat down anguished listeners not
quite sure whether he had (1) moved the Clause, (2) proposed to
withdraw it, or (3) suggested that a more convenient place for
insertion would he found later on. Fortunately new Clause in print
among Amendments. That ASQUITH should decline to have anything to do
with it natural enough. Saddest of all befel when from his own side
of House ROLLIT bluntly denounced Clause, CARSON hoped it wouldn't
be pressed, and HENRY JAMES, from allied camp opposite, demolished it
with final shot.
[Illustration: THE HOME SECRETARY'S SAFETY-VALVE. TRAFALGAR SQUARE OF
THE FUTURE.]
This not encouraging, but there were other Amendments standing in his
name of which something must be said. TOMLINSON rose when called on,
but gratefully sat down when greeted with mirthful cries for division.
Only gleam of comfort in sorrowful night was when TOMMY BOWLES,
rushing in whence he had retreated, called down on himself SPEAKER'S
stern commentary that his remarks were "quite irrelevant."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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