_Business done._--Report Stage of Employers' Liability Bill. _Tuesday._--To casual observer there is nothing in personal appearance of UGHTRED KAY-SHUTTLEWORTH suggestive of the Tartar. Yet to-night Sir ELLIS ASHMEAD BART(LETT), going a hunting on the Treasury Bench preserves, bagged Secretary to Admiralty and found he had caught a Tartar. ASHMEAD, in his self-asserted character of BRITANNIA'S Confidential Clerk, tried to draw UGHTRED on subject of Naval Scare. SHUTTLEWORTH, with manner that combined severity of a magistrate with benignity of a dean, managed to present ASHMEAD in aspect of fussy person who, having had some official knowledge, in whatever subordinate position, ought to have been able to restrain the self-assertiveness that led him to put such a question. House, which does not do credit to The BART(LETT)'S many sterling qualities, roared with delight. Stung to quick, ASHMEAD up again; shouted across table, "I ask the right hon. gentleman whether he can give me any evidence of his being alive----" House, struck with evidence to that effect just given, broke in with fresh roar of laughter. ASHMEAD stood glaring round at merry circle. When noise subsided, continued: "----any evidence of his being alive to the importance of his duties?" More laughter. ASHMEAD appealed to SPEAKER to reprimand KAY-SHUTTLEWORTH. Speaker justified Minister's action. One more attempt; one more rebuff; and ASHMEAD subsided for the night, not quite sure after all that silence isn't golden. At least it used to bring in £1000 a year. _Business done._--A good deal with the Employers' Liability Bill. _Wednesday._--Another quiet sitting with Employers' Liability Bill. Cap'en TOMMY BOWLES, respectfully removing his tarpaulin, and shifting his quid, relieved dullness of afternoon by some capital yarns. One drew a vivid picture of dangers that lurk behind the casual pilot. On a dark night in midsummer Cap'en TOMMY, a-sailing down the coast of Barbaree, came upon what looked like a town. Turned out to be Algiers; hauled down his main yard; ran out the topgallantsail spanker, and bore down on the harbour. Just as he was entering was boarded by pilot. "Sheer off!" says TOMMY through his polyglot speaking-trumpet. "Don't want your help; know every rock and shoal on the coast; will take the ship in myself." Pilot produced from lining at back of his trousers Code of Regulations; this set forth that pilot was compulsory. Nothing to do but submit, unless he would involve Great Britain in war. Pilot came aboard; took charge; forged ahead; just going to run ship on breakwater when TOMMY'S keen eye perceived danger. [Illustration: Tommy Bowles and the Pilot.] "Sir," said the only Member of House of Commons who, since BIG BEN'S death, holds a sea captain's certificate, "I took my ship out of the pilot's hand, and brought her in safely." House uproariously cheered, and FRANK LOCKWOOD went off and drew a sketch of the historical scene.