"He is getting too old for cabwork," argued the well-read driver. "He would make a splendid charger for the adjutant of a Yeomanry corps, and out of training might be put in the harness of a bathing-machine. No, pray don't interrupt me, Sir. You are going to urge that he would be useless in the winter. But no, Sir, you are wrong. He might take round coal (in small quantities), when the nights draw in. Can I not tempt you, Sir? You shall have him a bargain. Shall we say a penny a pound?" "I have already told you," replied the warrior, "that I have need of him only on the 9th. You understand, the 9th of next month." The well-read cab-driver nodded, and the two men parted. It was a bargain. _Rufus_ (_alias_ "Cat's-meat") was to be ready for hire on the 9th of November. "What does he want to do with the brute?" the well-read cabman asked himself again and again. "Surely he cannot mean to ride it? And yet he desired to learn if _Rufus_ were up to his weight; and when I answered Yes, his eyes brightened, and he regarded the animal with renewed interest." And all through the day the mystery puzzled him. He could not solve the problem, try as he would. Suddenly, as he was discussing a cup of tea in a shelter, a ray of light flooded his perplexed mind. "Eureka!" he exclaimed; "the warrior must have been the City Marshal; and he wanted _Rufus_ ('Cat's-meat'), of course, for the Lord Mayor's Show!" And perhaps the cabman had guessed rightly. Only the future can tell. * * * * * A QUESTION FOR SCOTCHMEN.--The Duke of ATHOLE announces that he is in future to be described as the Duke of ATHOLL. Why has he changed his name? Because he canna thole it. A Duke cannot add to his stature a cubit, Like the frog in the fable in vain he may swell; And in vain does he alter his name with a new bit, Its length is the same, though he tacks on an "l." * * * * * M. ZOLA is a Son of France. Around him are many literary planets and stars, and imitators, shining with reflected light--the French Zolar System. This is the Theory of _Mr. Punch_. * * * * * [Illustration: LIKA JOKO'S JOTTINGS. A GOLF MEETING.] * * * * * A "FANTASTIC" ACTION. ["A young lady of Newark while dancing a few nights ago fell and broke her leg, and she has now commenced an action for damages against her partner, to whom she attributes the cause of the accident."--_Daily Telegraph._] "Oh, bother!" girls will sigh; "a fresh excuse For men not fond of dancing to forsake us! We fancy we can hear them say 'the deuce! We can't dance _now_; to drop a girl might break us!' Now e'en 'the better sort,' who used to beg To see our cards, will--or our wits deceive us-- Reflect that they may break a partner's leg, And, choose, alas, to 'make a leg,' and leave us." * * * * * DRAMA COLLEGE.