_Friday._--Giving way to despair! What a hollow thing is popular applause! I am absolutely tired to death of it. I cannot repeat (for very weariness), the various ovations I have received. I have been accepted with cheers at all hours of the day and night! Oh, how glad I would be to get back! At the last moment I saw my way to a stealthy visit to the Folies, when I was secured and booked for two dinners and a "_punch_." Betrayed! Betrayed! _Saturday._--Still hunted. Not allowed to go anywhere except when my tormentors drag me to some official function. Have sold all my presents for ten francs. Have received marching orders for Toulon. Just as I was about to escape and proceed to the Moulin Rouge, captured by "my friends the enemy," or should it be "my enemies the friends"? Had to submit to the usual enthusiasm on my road to the railway station. Fortune of war I suppose, or rather of peace. Of the two, the latter I should think was the more deadly. Last strain of the "_Marseillaise_," last kiss from some one's grandmother, and curtain! Glad it's all over! * * * * * BY MR. JUSTICE CHARLES (_omitted in reports of his decision last week_).--"The Dahomey Troupe of Amazons appear only in the evenings at certain music-halls. Their name should be changed to 'Day-homey and Night-outy Amazons.'" (_Signed_) "CHARLES HIS FRIEND." * * * * * THE CHESHIRE CRUELTY TO CHILDREN CASE.--Rightly were condemned the two unfeeling PHELANS. No jury could possibly have any consideration for such PHELANS as these. If for the male prisoner the jury had recommended a tail or two of the Cheshire Cat (o'-nine-tails), it would not have been thought too much. * * * * * MOTTO FOR MR. INDERWICK, Q.C.--The eminent Counsel of the QUEEN has been recently admitted to the freedom of the borough of Rye. He has added to his coat of arms the words, "Mind your Rye." * * * * * NEW DESCRIPTIVE TITLE OF THE G. O. M. SUGGESTED BY LORD SALISBURY'S LATEST SPEECH.--"The Autocrat of the Round Table." * * * * * [Illustration: "EMINENTLY A SCOTTISH GOVERNMENT." (_Mr. Asquith's Speech, Tuesday, October 17._)] * * * * * [Illustration: TOO PARTICULAR. "LOOK HERE--CONFOUND IT, ISAACSON! YOU'VE PLAYED ME A PRETTY TRICK WITH THIS ANCESTOR YOU SOLD ME! SHOWED IT TO A FRIEND YESTERDAY, AND TOLD HIM IT WAS THE PORTRAIT OF MY ANCESTOR WHO CAME OVER WITH WILLIAM THE FIRST; AND HE SAID, 'WHAT A FUNNY THING HE SHOULD HAVE DRESSED HIMSELF IN THE STYLE OF WILLIAM THE FOURTH!'" "VELL THAT'TH NOTHING. I JETH MADE A MITHTAKE OF A FEW YEARTH--VILLIAM THE FIRTHT AND VILLIAM THE FOURTH; ONLY HITH GREAT-GRANDTHON!"] * * * * * THE SAX SCOTCH PIPERS.