* * * * * QUEER QUERIES. FOREIGN CLERKS.--I should be grateful for any information as to where I could acquire a knowledge of French, German, Italian, Spanish, Arabic, and Russian, without leaving the neighbourhood of Camberwell New Road, and at a merely nominal cost. I find that, unless I know those languages, I have no chance of competing with German Clerks; whereas, if I did know them, I should be nearly sure of obtaining a berth in a London Firm at not less than fifteen shillings a week, rising, by half centuries, to fifteen and sixpence, and even to sixteen shillings. Also, what is the least amount of porridge (without milk or sugar), haricot beans, or lentil soup, that will preserve a person from starvation, if he takes nothing else, and works fourteen hours a day? I intend imitating my Teutonic rivals in frugality, as well as in languages; any dietetic hints (especially from Scotchmen), would therefore be welcomed by NO POLYGLOT. * * * * * A DELICATE REQUEST.--On Wednesday--that day in every week which is kept as a whole holiday in honour of _Mr. Punch_--the 8th Feb., there is to be "a meeting of Old Paulines" at Anderton's Hotel, when "_the attendance of all Old Paulines is requested_." Ahem! The aged representatives of the heroine of the _Lady of Lyons_ will not be attracted by the wording of this rather un-paulite announcement. Why was not the invitation extended to the old _Claude Melnottes_ as well? There must be a lot of them about. * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception