"There!" said Mr. WITLER, throwing all his energy into one most complicated kick, as he at length permitted Mr. STIGGINS to withdraw his head from the trough, "send any vun o' them villainous Vetoists, from burly Sir VILLIAM BARABBAS hisself down to the pettifoggingest Local Hoptioniser in Little Peddlington, _here_, or to St. James's 'All, or the Alhambra, or elseveres in public meeting or privit pub, and I'll pound him to a argymentative jelly fust, and drownd him in public-speritted opinion arterwards!" "SAMMY" (added Mr. WITLER, puffing and perspiring freely), "help me in, and fill me a stiff glass o' Speshal Scotch; for I'm out of breath, my boy!" * * * * * [Illustration: RATHER SUSPICIOUS. _Mistress_ (_to Housekeeper, after "the Young Person" has left the room_). "REALLY, WILKINS, I COULD NOT ENGAGE THAT YOUNG PERSON. SHE IS TOO UGLY BY FAR!" _Housekeeper._ "VERY SORRY, MUM. BUT YOU SAID _SO PARTICULARLY_ THAT I WAS TO LOOK OUT FOR A GOOD PLAIN COOK,--'QUITE A PLAIN COOK,' YOU SAID, MUM,--THAT I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME PARTICULAR REASON----"] * * * * * VERY NATURAL.--Mrs. R. pays great attention to the Parliamentary debates, and listens attentively while her Nephew reads the speeches as reported in _The Times_. Last Thursday he was in the midst of the discussion on the Welsh Liquor-Traffic Bill, and came to this: "Mr. LLOYD-GEORGE, whose opening remarks were interrupted by a Count----" Whereupon his Aunt exclaimed, "How very rude! What was the Count's name? And how does a Count come to be in the House of Commons?" * * * * * PILL-DOCTOR HERDAL. (_Translated from the Original Norwegian by Mr. Punch._) THIRD ACT. _On the right, a smart verandah, attached to_ Dr. HERDAL'S _dwelling-house, and communicating with the Drawing-room and Dispensary by glass-doors. On the left a tumble-down rockery, with a headless plaster Mercury. In front, a lawn, with a large silvered glass globe on a stand. Chairs and tables. All the furniture is of galvanised iron. A sunset is seen going on among the trees._ _Dr. Herdal_ (_comes out of Dispensary-door cautiously, and whispers_). HILDA, are you in there? [_Taps with fingers on Drawing-room door._ _Hilda_ (_comes out with a half-teasing smile_). Well--and how is the Rainbow-powder getting on, Dr. HERDAL? _Dr. Herd._ (_with enthusiasm_). It is getting on simply splendidly. I sent the new Assistant out to take a little walk, so that he should not be in the way. There is Arsenic in the powder, HILDA, and Digitalis too, and Strychnine, and the best Beetle-killer! _Hilda_ (_with happy, wondering eyes_). _Lots_ of Beetle-killer? And you will give some of it to _her_, to make her free and buoyant. I think one really _has_ the right--when people happen to stand in the way----!