See how you'd like to trot and trip, To stop and stagger, slide and slip, Pulled up affrighted, Urged madly on, then checked once more, Whilst from some omnibus's door Some lout alighted. You would not find much cause to laugh, Like us, you would not care for chaff Were you such draggers; Your shoes would soon be off, or worn, You'd get, what we don't often, corn, And end with staggers. You'd long to be put out to grass, Infrequent so far with your class-- NEBUCHADNEZZAR Was quite an isolated case-- You would be tired of life's long-race; Slaves who in Fez are, On the Sahara could not bear Such toil as falleth to our share, For death would free them. You say the farmer wants the wet For meadows; pray do not forget We never see them. Philanthropists, why don't you walk? Of slaves' hard lives you blandly talk, Like "Uncle TOM"--nay, You think what your own horses do, But we--there, get along with you! _Allez vous promener!_ * * * * * CHANGE ITS NAME!--An estate in the Island of Fowlness, Essex, of 382 acres, was put up to auction last week, and, according to the _Daily News_ there was only one bid at a little short of eight pounds per acre. "The property was withdrawn." This step was judicious and correct. It was an act of fairness to Fowlness. But then, does it sound nice for anyone to say, "I'm living in the midst of Fowlness"? It may be a Paradise, but it doesn't sound like it. * * * * * [Illustration: MISUNDERSTOOD. _Little Girl._ "OH, MAMMA, I'M SO GLAD YOU HAD SUCH A PLEASANT DINNER AT THE VICARAGE. AND--WHO TOOK YOU IN?" _Mother._ "WHO TOOK _ME_ IN, DEAR CHILD! NO MAN EVER TOOK _ME_ IN. NOT EVEN YOUR DEAR FATHER; FOR WHEN I MARRIED HIM, I KNEW ALL HIS FAULTS!"] * * * * * The Mellor of the C. AIR--_"The Miller of the Dee."_ There was a jolly MELLOR, The Chairman of Com-mit_tee_; They worried him from noon till night-- "No lark is this!" sighed he; And this the burden of his song For ever seems to be, "I care for e-ve-rybody,--why Does nobody care for me?" * * * * * VESTRIES, PLEASE COPY!--Sir RICHARD TEMPLE has announced a reduction of the School-Board Rate by a farthing in the pound. May he never become a ruined Temple owing to such economies! The Rate-payers will be grateful for even a fraction of a penny, so long as it is not an improper fraction. This sort of saving is far better than squabbling over Theology. Says _Mr. Punch_ to Schoolboardmen, "Rate the public lightly, and don't rate each other at all!" * * * * * NEW SARUM VERSION OF "_DERRY DOWN_."--"Derry _up!_ up! Up, Derry, up!" * * * * * Poor Letter H.