SCENE--_Undergraduate's Room in St. Boniface's College, Oxford. Breakfast time._ _Servant._ I see, Sir, you don't like the butter. Summer _h_air will get to it this 'ot weather. _Testy Undergrad._ Confound it, LUKER, I don't mind the--ahem--hair, but kindly let me have my butter bald the next time! [_He had swallowed a hair._ * * * * * _Under the Great Seal_ is a new work by Mr. JOSEPH HATTON. The Busy Baron hath not yet had time to read it, but, from answers given to his "fishing interrogatories," he gathers that international piscatorial questions are ably discussed in the work. JOSEPH has lost a chance in not dedicating it to SEALE-HAYNE, M.P., and, instead of being brought out by HUTCHINSON & Co., it ought to have been published by SEELEY. However, even JOSEPHUS HATTONENSIS can't think of everything, though he does write on most things. * * * * * AT THE NEW GALLERY. IN THE CENTRAL HALL. _A Potential Purchaser (meeting a friend)._ Ha--just come in to take a look round, eh? So did I. Fact is--(_with a mixture of importance and apology_) I rather thought of _buying_ a picture here, if I see anything that takes my _fancy_--y' know. _His Friend (impressed)._ Not many who can afford to throw money away on pictures, these hard times! _The P. P. (anxious to disclaim any idea of recklessness)._ Just the time to pick 'em up cheap, if you know what you're about. And you see, we've had the drawing-room done up, and the wife wants something to fill up the space over her writing-table, between the fireplace and one of the windows. She was to have met me here, but she couldn't turn up, so I shall have to do it all myself--unless you'll come and help me through with it? _His Friend._ Oh, if I can be of any use--What sort of thing do you want? _The P. P._ Well, that's the difficulty. She says it must match the new paper. I've brought a bit in my pocket with me. His Friend. Then you can't go _very_ far wrong! _The P. P._ I don't know. It's a sort of paper that--here, I'd better show it you. (_He produces a sample of fiery and untamed colour._) That'll give you an _idea_ of it. _His Friend (inspecting it dubiously)._ Um--yes. I see you'll have to be _careful_. _The P. P._ Careful, my dear fellow! I assure you I've been all through the Academy, and there wasn't a thing there that could stand it for a single moment--not even the R.A.'s! [_They enter the West Room._ IN THE WEST ROOM. _An Insipid Young Person (before_ Mr. TADEMA'S "_Unconscious Rivals_"). Yes, that's _marble_, isn't it? [_Smiles with pleasure at her own penetration._ _Her Mother (cautiously)._ I _imagine_ so. (_She refers to Catalogue._) Oh! I see it's a Tadema, so of _course_ it's marble. He's the great _man_ for it, you know! _First Painter (who had nothing ready to send in this year)._ H'm, yes. Can't say I care about the way he's placed his azalea. I should have kept it more to the left, myself.