_Second Painter (who sent in, but is not exhibiting)._ Composition wants bringing together, and the colour scheme is a little unfortunate, but--(_generously_) I shouldn't call it altogether _bad_. _First Painter (more grudgingly)._ Oh, you can see what he was _trying_ for--only--well, it's not the way _I_ should have gone about it. [_They pass on tolerantly._ _The I. Y. P._ Can you make this picture out, Mamma? "_The Track of the Strayed?_" The Strayed _what_? _Her Mother._ Sheep, I should suppose, my dear--but it would have been more satisfactory certainly if the animal had been shown _in_ the picture. _The I. Y. P._ Yes, ever so much. Oh, here's a portrait of Mr. GLADSTONE reading the Lessons in Hawarden Church. I _do_ like that--don't you? _Her Mother._ I'm not sure that I do, my dear. I wonder they permitted the Artist to paint any portrait--even Mr. GLADSTONE'S--during service! _The P. P. (before another canvas)._ Now that's about the size I want; but I'm not sure that my wife would quite care about the _subject_. _His Friend._ I'm rather fond of these allegorical affairs myself--for a drawing-room, you know. _The P. P._ Well, I'll just try the paper against it. (_He applies the test, and shakes his head._) "There, you _see_--knocks it all to pieces at once!" [Illustration: "There, you _see_--knocks it all to pieces at once!"] _His Friend._ I was afraid it would, y' know. How will _this_ do you--_"A Naiad"?_ _The P. P._ I shouldn't object to it myself, but there's the Wife to be considered--and then, a _Naiad_--eh? _His friend._ She's half _in_ the water. _The P. P._ Yes, but then--those lily-leaves in her hair, you know, and--and coming up all dripping like that--no, it's hardly worth while bringing out the paper again! _The I. Y. P._ Isn't this queer--"_Neptune's Horses_"?--They _can't_ be intended to represent _waves_, surely! _Her Mother._ It's impossible to tell what the Painter intended, my dear, but I never saw waves so like horses as that. IN THE NORTH ROOM. _The I. Y. P. "Cain's First Crime."_ Why, he's only feeding a stork! I don't see any crime in that. _Her Mother._ He's giving it a live lizard, my dear. _The I. Y. P._ But storks _like_ live lizards, don't they? And ADAM and EVE are looking on, and don't seem to mind. _Her Mother._ I expect that's the moral of it. If they'd taken it away from him, and punished him at the time, he wouldn't have turned out so badly as he did--but it's too late to think of that _now_! _A Matter-of-fact Person (behind)._ I wonder, now, where he got his _authority_ for that incident. It's new to _me_. IN THE BALCONY.