In a recent case, Mr. LANE, the magistrate, is reported to have informed an inquiring husband, "If your wife turns you out she is not bound to find you a home; but if _you_ turn your wife out you _are_ bound to find _her_ a home." This suggests a new Charity, "The Home for Turned-out Wives." These ladies would be seen driving out in well-appointed traps, and gain a new status in Society as being "uncommonly well-turned-out" wives. * * * * * ANOTHER SCENE AT THE PLAY. (_That never should be tolerated._) SCENE--_Auditorium of a Fashionable Theatre. Vast majority of the audience deeply interested in the action and dialogue of an excellent piece. Enter a party of Lady Emptyheads into a Private Box._ _First Emptyhead (taking off her wraps)._ I told you there was no necessity to hurry away from dinner. You see they are getting on very well without us. _Second Empt. (seating herself in front of the box)._ Yes. And it's so much pleasanter to chat than to listen. This piece, they tell me, is full of clever dialogue--so satisfactory to people who like that sort of thing. _Third Empt. (looking round the house with an opera-glass)._ Why scarcely a soul in the place we know. Well, I suppose everybody is leaving town. Stay, is that Mrs. EVERGREEN TOFFY? _Fourth Empt. (also using her glasses)._ Why, yes. I wish we could make her see us. _First Empt._ Haven't you noticed that you never can attract attention when you want to? Isn't it provoking? _Second Empt._ Oh, terribly; and there is Captain DASHALONG. Why, I thought he was at Aldershot. _Third Empt._ Oh, they always give them leave about this time of the year. _Rest of Audience (sternly)._ Hush! S-s-s-h-s-h! _Fourth Empt._ I wonder what's the piece about. _Third Empt._ Oh, it doesn't in the least matter. Sure to be sparkling. Do you like that woman's hair? _Fourth Empt._ Scarcely. It's the wrong shade. How can people make such frights of themselves! _First Empt._ I wonder if this is the Second Act, or the First! _Third Empt._ What does it matter! I never worry about a piece, for I know I shall see all about it afterwards in the papers. _Rest of Audience (with increased sternness)._ Hush! S-s-s-h-s-h! _Second Empt._ I always come to this theatre because the chairs are comfortable. What is the good of going to the play unless you can enjoy yourself? _Third Empt._ Quite so. And it's much better fun without one's husband, isn't it? _First Empt._ Of course. I never bring mine, because he always goes to sleep! So disrespectful to the actresses and actors! _Second Empt._ Yes. Of course, one ought to listen to what's going on, even if you don't care what it's all about. _Fourth Empt._ Quite so. Not that it isn't pleasant to look round the house. _Rest of Audience (angrier than ever)._ Hush! S-s-s-h-s-h! _Third Empt._ Yes, I often think that this side of the curtain is quite as amusing as the other.