_She._ Yes, and to the Eton and Harrow Match, and to Ascot, and to Wimbledon to see the Lawn Tennis finals. _He._ But perhaps you never went to the House of Commons? _She._ Oh, yes, I did--on the Terrace, and also to the Ladies' Gallery. The rows were most amusing--saw them all. _He._ And did you go to many parties? _She._ To every party of any consequence, and all the really nice dinners. _He._ Were you at the Royal Wedding? _She._ Oh, don't talk of that. The subject is quite exhausted. (_After a pause._) Pray, have you no conversation? _He._ Well, I don't know. I suppose you went to church this morning, and heard the Dean preach? _She._ Oh, I really must beg your pardon. If you can't find anything better to talk about on a Sunday than the points of a sermon you had far better say nothing at all. [_Scene closes in upon an unbroken silence._ * * * * * [Illustration: NEW KING COAL. (_A new Mining-Capitalist Version of an old Nursery Rhyme, dedicated and commended to the thoughtful consideration of the colliers on strike in Northumberland and Durham._)] [Putting it in the form of a conundrum, _Mr. Punch_ would ask the Colliers who may read this rhyme the following question, the answer to which may throw a light upon the meaning of New King COAL'S jubilant doggerel ditty:-- "When prices rise--even in the midst of the Dog Days--and the output of first-class coal falls, who reaps the advantage of the enhanced value and readier sale of accumulated stocks of small and slaggy 'rubbish'?"] O our New King COAL Is an artful old soul, And an artful old soul is he; And a jolly good Strike Is a game he must like-- When it pulls in the £ _s._ _d._ He calls for his "weed" and he calls for his "fizz," And he calls for his--Fiddle-de-dee! Every fiddler has his own little fiddle, And a very fine fiddle has he. "£ _s._ _d._, £ _s._ _d._," sings King COAL, "Fiddle-de-dee! Oh! an opportune Strike is the thing for me!" O, there's none so rare As can compare With King COAL and _his_ Fiddle-de-dee! * * * * * ROBERT AT GILDALL. Ah, wot a change has suddenly cum over the hold Copperation! From sitch recepshuns of Kings and Queens, and Princes and Princesses, and Royal Dooks and Dutchesses, and Zarrowitches and setterer, and all in their werry best clothes, too! as I never witnessed before nor since, to cum suddenly upon nuffin but Gog and Magog, is a strikin fac indeed. As the Rite onerabel Lord MARE werry propperly said, "Ah wot a fall is here my Country-men!"