But then, if I to Norway turn, as Ibsenite I'd _more_ weight earn-- And salmon-fishing mid the Kvæns is certainly high-class sport; Or rumble in a tarantass o'er Russia? No, an arrant ass I were, to go where night and day you're badgered for your passport! I'd like (my programme's large), a panoramic glimpse of far Japan From Fuji, and round Biwa Lake I'd in a jinrickshaw go; Or even--for a hasty bet--I'd (like Miss TAYLOR) pace Thibet, Or "blue" my surplus cash at what the Yankees call "Shecawgo." Look here! I'll have to sham a tour (though but a humble amatoor At yarning), as this sort of thing is giving me the fidgets! I'll--since I've eased my intellect by tripping thus in print--elect To stay at home and twiddle (for the sake of rhyme) my digits! * * * * * THE PLACE FOR LAWN TENNIS.--"_Way down in Tennessee._" * * * * * THE TWO POTS. (_A Morality for Mammon._) When Mammon in commerce has "made a big pot," He is free to "retire upon what he has got," And what need he care for the children of toil Who have helped in their hundreds that "big pot" to boil? Pot! Pot! Gushers talk rot; But Demas "retires upon what he has got." How did he get it, that pot full of gold? That is a story that's yet to be told. Children of Gibeon helped, 'tis well known, At filling _his_ pot--barely boiling their own! Pot! Pot! How to keep hot-- That is the problem--the poor man's pot! Poor _pot-au-feu_! 'Tis to keep you a-boil Hewers and Drawers so ceaselessly toil; But when they've filled Wealth's big pot full of gold, What does he care if _their_ pot becomes cold. Pot! Pot! Let the poor go--_to_ pot. Mammon--"retires upon what he has got!" * * * * * MRS. R.--She is very tender-hearted. "Of course," she says, "it's very nice of what they call 'The Forsters' parents--though why 'Forster' I don't know. But certainly, even when they're brought up as one of the family of the Forsters, yet it does make me feel very sad when I see an adapted child." * * * * * MORAL AND SOCIAL QUERIES.--When a man has lost his own character, is he justified in taking away anybody else's? At a party if somebody has taken away your hat, aren't you justified in taking somebody else's? * * * * * THE ADVENTURES OF PICKLOCK HOLES. (_By Cunnin Toil._) No. II.--THE DUKE'S FEATHER.