_Chorus_--Are you coming, &c. Miss Protection, my old partner's a bit _passée, entre nous_, Yet I mustn't all forsake her; she's exacting and a shrew; And to leave her quite a "Wallflower," and entirely in the shade, Would mean ructions; yet I _must_ try just one turn with dear Free Trade! _Chorus_--Are you coming, &c. So I'll kiss her little finger, and invite her to the waltz; Though the other turns her nose up (temper's one of her worst faults). But I say, "I cannot help it, dear; you're danced quite off your feet, And a rest will do you good, dear, I repeat, peat, peat!" _Chorus_--Are you coming, &c. "The ball-room should be open to a dancer's enterprise. I _must_ try a change of partners; your high-tariff step so tries. It's so stiff, and so exhausting, and a little Freedom's sweet; Whilst _I_ take one turn with Free Trade. _You_ can take a seat, seat, seat!" _Chorus_--Are you coming, &c. "Oh! she's been and asked her mother, and her mother's said she might. So sit down and don't show tantrums, for they make you look a fright." _May_ I ask you for just one turn, Free Trade, before this dance is over? And she answers "With much pleasure, Mister GROVER, GROVER, GROVER!" _Chorus_--Are you coming, are you coming, Are you coming for one turn, my dear, before this dance is over? And she smiles--and I'm her partner--and hope soon to be her lover! * * * * * "VARIETY! VA-RI-E-TY!"