FATHER NEPTUNE. "LOOK HERE, JOHN, THERE'S A JOLLY SIGHT O' THEM FURRIN' CRAFT ABOUT, TAKE A TIP FROM YOUR OLD FRIEND--BUILD ALL YOU KNOW--AND _DASH_ THE EXPENSE!"] * * * * * TO BOBBY. (_To the tune of "To Tommy."_) BLUE BOBBY, brave and strong, They begin to right your wrong. Silent shoes, and now revolvers! That will do! Now I hope you'll make things plain To the brutal burglar train; And, Bobby, _Punch's_ best respects to you! May "tips" swell your smallish pay On the coming Boxing Day; (For I know they're rather screwy with your "screw.") Shod and armed upon your round, Heaven keep you safe and sound, And, Bobby, JOHN BULL'S best respects to you! * * * * * THE LILLY'S LESSON.--Mr. LILLY, in the _New Review_, reminds DIVES that "there is no excuse for riches which are divorced from public obligation." This cuts deeply! Possibly DIVES would retort upon the author of "Shibboleths" that riches _require_ no "excuse." At any rate we do not often find men making excuses for being rich, though apologies for poverty are common enough. All the same, _Mr. Punch_ would strongly recommend DIVES--especially at this festive season--to "consider the (W. S.) LILLY"! * * * * * "A LONG BREAK."--_À propos_ of our picture in last week's issue, we have received the following suggestion:--"Sir, if MR. GLADSTONE, the great billiard player, wishes to continue his 'long break,' wouldn't it be advisable for him '_to take a rest_.'--Yours truly, BREAKERS A. HEAD." * * * * * [Illustration: AT THE COURTS OF JUSTICE. _First Litigant._ "I'M BANKRUPTCY. WHAT ARE YOU?" _Second L._ "I'M DIVORCE." _First L._ "THEN YOU STAND LUNCH!"] * * * * * SEASONABLE REFLECTION. (_By an Old Fogey._) We are hearing a lot of "the Buffer State"; Faith! it comes to us all--after Forty-eight! When from gout, and the pretty girls' scorn, we suffer, We have all arrived at the state of the "Buffer." * * * * * "FOR THIS RELIEF--MUCH THANKS." _Shakspeare._--A correspondent in the _Pall Mall Gazette_ recently complained of the disappearance of "Thank you," and the substitution of "Thanks" and "Thanks awfully." Why not? It is but a revival of the ancient Latin form "_gratias_," and surely plural "Thanks" indicates indefinitely more thankfulness than an uneffusive, frigid, singular "Thank you," signifying "I thank you." Let us be Shakspearianly classical, as in the quotation above given, and say "Much thanks." So again, "I am poor in thanks--but I thank you." Here the relative value of the plural and the singular in thanks is well brought out. * * * * * BALL _VERSUS_ BALL.