Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 23rd, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 23rd, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
LYTTELTON and LANG--with all
Whom pure prejudice can't fetter,--
Say--concerning games at ball--
Golf is good but Cricket better.
Wisdom owns an ounce of practice
Worth a ton of theory. Fact is,
Those who set that saw a-run,
Had not seen a LYTTEL-TON!
Who performs as well as teaches,
And can practice what he preaches.
* * * * *
"AFTER THE BALL" IN PARIS.
MY DEAR MONS. PUNCH,--I am delighted! I am overjoyed! Why, your Oxford
College has accepted the challenge of our Racing Club to play a game
of _kic bal_ this month of December! It is good! It is very good
indeed! It makes cold, so I can not go for to see the sport.
But permit me, I would propose these rules in the cause of humanity,
for the sake of civilisation. I give them below. They are not many:--
_Proposed Rules for "le jeu de kic bal" between Oxford College and
Racing Club._
1. No kickers to approach closer to one another than six yards
distance.
2. The scrimmage to be interdicted. Sergent de ville to be on guard on
the ground to prevent assaults even of the most trifling character.
3. Boots not to be worn, but dancing-pumps.
4. The players to wear fur-lined coats, and to take arm-chairs on the
ground for their comfort.
5. The "kic bal" to be made of inflated india-rubber, with a hole in
the centre, so that it shall collapse without causing injury.
6. No game of "kic bal" to last more than five minutes, and after
every game a pause of one hour to be permitted, so that the players
may have necessary rest and proper refreshment.
And yet one more suggestion. But this shall not be a rule but only
an offering. I make you a present of the idea--so charming--as a
compliment of the season. Let the goals be made of Christmas-trees,
let the "kickers" be covered with holly and mistletoe (like
your "Jack-in-the-Green"), and instead of a brutal, rough, hard,
uncomfortable globe of leather, let the "kic bal" be a veritable plum
pudding!
Your hand! I wish you "Joking Christmas Amiable New Year." Your
friend--and brother, "gentlemans ridere,"
_Paris in December_.
(_Signed_) JULES.
* * * * *
NEWS FROM MONTE CARLO.--Mr. J-HN M-RL-Y is, we are glad to hear, much
better. _Rouge gagne._
* * * * *
A WINDY CORNER AT BRIGHTON.
(_By an Impressionist._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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