Old lady first, with hair like winter snows, Makes moan. And struggles. Then, with cheeks too richly rose, A crone, Gold hair, new teeth, white powder on her nose; All bone And skin; an "Ancient Mystery," like those Of HONE. Then comes a girl; sweet face that freshly glows! Well grown. The neat cloth gown her supple figure shows, Now thrown In lines of beauty. Last, in graceless pose, Half prone, A luckless lout, caught by the blast, one knows His tone Means oaths; his hat, straight as fly crows, Has flown. I laugh at him, and---- Hi! By Jove, there goes My own! * * * * * MOTTO FOR LADY CHAMPAGNE DRINKERS.--"Sweetness and light!" * * * * * THE BLUE BELLES OF SCOTLAND. (_Latest prose version from the Modern Athens._) SCENE--_A Dressing-room._ TIME--_The Present._ CHARACTERS--_A_ Mistress _and her Maid_. _Mistress._ Now then, MARY, you really must make haste or I shall not be in time. Have you got my latest bonnet from Paris? _Maid._ Yes, Madam. I told JOHN to put the foot-warmer and the carriage rug in the brougham. _Mistress._ Quite right; and now have you got my fan? _Maid._ Yes, Madam, and I suppose you will want your opera-glasses? _Mistress._ Naturally; how could I see anything distinctly without them? There is sure to be such a crowd. And, by the way, have you got me a packet of literature? _Maid._ Yes, Madam. Three novels, and all the illustrated papers. _Mistress._ If there are many delays I shall be able to pass the time pleasantly. And the luncheon basket? _Maid._ Yes, M'm. Cold fowl, flask of sherry, some celery, a pound cake, knives, forks, glasses, plates, salt, mustard, bread, and a bottle of soda-water. Is there anything else? _Mistress._ Well, perhaps I might carry in my muff my pocket camera. 'Tis just possible I may be able to get a snap-shot at the principal character. (_Enters the carriage._) You haven't given me my special ticket. _Maid._ Here it is, Madam. Shall I tell JOHN to drive to the Concert-room? _Mistress._ No, no. Tell him to take me to the Court. I am going to assist at a trial for murder! * * * * * SEASONABLE SAYINGS. There is many a slip between the house and the church on a frosty morning. You cannot make a respectable tradesman out of a grocer who offers tips to a working-housekeeper. You may take a dustman's token to a stingy man's portal, but you can't get him to give you a Christmas-box. A dun in need is a county court indeed. It is a long dinner that has no earning. People who live in glass houses should not throw away their coke and coals.