NOTE.--There are, it seems, rumours about to the effect that my marvellous friend, PICKLOCK HOLES, is dead. Some even go so far as to assert that he never existed. I leave these two factions to fight the matter out. If he is dead he must have existed; if he never existed he cannot have died. This shows the folly of relying on rumour.--SAMUEL POTSON. * * * * * THE LORD CHANCELLOR'S SONG. (_The Up-to-date Version._) Oh! pity the lot of a harassed Lord Chancellor, Suffering badly from too much to do. Appointments to give, and appointments to cancel or Magistrate making, not knowing who's who. Work of a quantity highly distressing, Jack-like it's dull with all work and no play. I start in the morning when hurriedly dressing. And stick to it then for full twelve hours a day. Selecting with care and the utmost propriety, I wade through long lists of the would-be J.P.'s, Who wish to be benched for the sake of Society, Till I sigh for repose and a quantum of ease. It's hard--ANANIAS would hardly deny it, After all it's £10 000 a year at the most. Resignation's a virtue. I'm minded to try it; A chance for some aspirants--who's for the post? * * * * * MOTTO FOR EDITORS OF VERY-LATEST-NEWS-EVENING-JOURNALS (_hard up far a paragraph_).--"When in doubt play JABEZ BALFOUR." * * * * * MRS. R. ON THE DYNAMITE OUTRAGE IN THE FRENCH CHAMBER.--"Hanging's too good for such a scoundrel," said Mrs. R., indignantly; "but they don't hang in France, so the wretch will be taken and gelatined." * * * * * [Illustration: THE WERE-WOLF OF ANARCHY.] * * * * * [Illustration: "BUSINESS FIRST." _Favourite Son of M.F.H. (to old Huntsman)._ "NO, SMITH, YOU WON'T SEE MUCH MORE OF ME FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON; IF AT ALL." _Smith (with some concern)._ "INDEED, SIR. 'OW'S THAT?" _Son of M.F.H._ "WELL, YOU SEE I'M READING HARD." _Smith (interrogatively)._ "READIN' 'ARD, SIR?" _Son of M.F.H._ "YES, I'M READING LAW." _Smith._ "WELL, I LIKES TO READ A BIT O' THEM PERLICE REPORTS MYSELF, SIR, NOW AN' THEN; BUT I DON'T ALLOW 'EM TO HINTERFERE WITH A HONEST DAYS 'UNTIN'."] * * * * * THE WERE-WOLF. [Anglo-Saxon _wer_, a man, and wolf--a man in the form of a wolf. "The garments are changed into hair, his arms into legs; he becomes a wolf, and he still retains vestiges of his ancient form. His hoariness is still the same, the same violence appears in his features; his eyes are bright as before; he is still the same image of ferocity."--_Ovid, on the metamorphosis of King Lycaon into a wolf._]