MYSTERIOUS.--In _Sala's Journal_ for December 13 the advertisement of the Christmas Number announces that "arrangements have been made for publishing the Portraits of the Contributors at the commencement of their respective articles. This, it is believed, will prove a very interesting feature." No doubt. But _which_ "feature," and _whose_ "feature," and to which contributor will "the very interesting feature" in the portrait belong? They cannot surely have only one feature among them! Among the special contributors, each of course with distinctive features, are Sir AUGUSTUS HARRIS, Mr. SUTHERLAND EDWARDS, Mr. ARTHUR À BECKETT, and Mr. DAVENPORT ADAMS. Excellent company each, with most interesting features. But which feature is to be taken as representing the lot? "Nose?" Well, there's point in that. "Cheek?" Ahem! Will it be "All their eye?" Evidently the only way of satisfying curiosity is to purchase a copy of _S. J.'s_ Christmas Number. * * * * * SEASONABLE RIDDLE.--When does a turkey look a goose?--When quite by himself he has to face a party of twenty-four. * * * * * [Illustration: INHUMAN. _Sportsman_ (_who has caught Brown's mare_). "NOW THEN! THIS WAY OUT, SIR, THIS WAY OUT!" _Brown_ (_who has already swallowed about a quart of mud and water_). "B--B--BUT IT'S DEEP!" _Sportsman_ (_impatient_). "CONFOUND IT, MAN! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FETCH A BOAT?"] CHRISTMAS HAMPERS. _For the Czar._--Alliances--French and Triple. _For the Kaiser._--"The Great Revenge." _For the King of Italy._--The Military Estimates. _For the King of Greece._--The Adjustment of the National Revenue. _For the President of the French Republic._--The Legacy of CARNOT the First. _For the President of the United States._--Protected Free Trade. _For the Sultan._--The Khedive. _For the Khedive._--The Sultan. _For the Premier._--His followers. _For the Foreign Secretary._--His colleagues. _For the Chancellor of the Exchequer._--The coming Budget. _For the Home Secretary._--Trafalgar Square. _For the Colonial Secretary._--South Africa. _For the Postmaster-General._--Cards for Christmas and the New Year. _For the War Office._--The Admiralty. _For the Admiralty._--The War Office. _For the Theatre-Managers._--The Clerk of the Weather. _For the Music-Hall Proprietors._--The London County Council. _For the London Public._--The Paving Contractors. _For the Bar._--The Solicitors. _For the Solicitors._--Reluctant Litigants. _For the Stockbrokers._--The State of the City. _For the Poor._--The Condition of the Money Market. _And for the World in general and Britons in particular._--The Influenza. * * * * * THE KISS THAT COSTS. [A fair plaintiff, who brought a breach of promise action worth under ordinary circumstances at least £1000, had to be content with £100 because she had in the meantime been kissed by a new suitor.]