[Illustration: "Well, Ma'am, this is the _last_ place I expected to find you in!"] _Mrs. Toov._ Tell him, Pa, that in the circle in which _we_ move, the remotest connection with--with a music-hall would be justly considered as an indelible disgrace. _Charles_ (_sotto voce_). No, hang it, Uncle! It's no business of mine, and I'm not going to shove my oar in; but still you know as well as I do that _you_ can't decently take that line, whatever Aunt may do! _Mrs. Toov._ I heard you, CHARLES. So, Pa, there _is_ something you have been hiding from me? I felt positive there was some mystery about that box. Now I _will_ know it. ALTHEA, leave us! _Mr. Toov._ There is nothing she had better not hear--_now_, my love. It--it's true I would rather have kept it from you, but I'd better tell you--I'd better tell you. The fact is that, without being in the least aware of it--I was under the impression I was investing in a gold-mine--I--I became the proprietor of several shares in the Eldorado Music-hall. _Curph._ (_surprised_). You, Sir! you were a shareholder all the time! Is it possible? _Mr. Toov._ (_bewildered_). Why, but you _knew_! I consulted you at the Junction about whether I ought to retain the shares or not, and you advised me to go and judge for myself! _Curph._ I assure you I thought we were talking about _my_ connection with the Eldorado, not yours. _Mrs. Toov._ So, Pa, by your own story you found yourself in possession of those horrible wicked shares, and you actually hesitated what to do! You considered it necessary to--to visit the scene! _Mr. Toov._ Indeed. I never actually went, my love. And--and Mr. CURPHEW assured me the establishment was quite respectably conducted, under the supervision of the London County Council; and then there was the dividend--seventy per cent. on only five hundred pounds--three hundred and fifty a year, CORNELIA; it--it seemed a pity to give it up! _Mrs. Toov._ (_to herself, impressed_). Three hundred and fifty a year! Why we can keep our carriage on it! (_Aloud._) Well, Pa, of course--as you bought the shares under a misapprehension--and I'm bound to say _this_ for the Eldorado, that there was nothing positively objectionable in the performance so far as _I_ could--(_correcting herself hastily_)--have ever been given to understand--why, I'm the last to blame you. _Mr. Toov._ (_overjoyed_). Ah, my dear love! I scarcely dared to hope for this leniency. But I never would have gone--oh, never. Why, I could never have looked you in the face again if I had! _Mrs. Toov._ (_with a twinge_). That _depends_, Pa; it is quite possible to go to such places, and yet----