Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 9, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 9, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Mr. Toov._ Yes, but you see I _didn't_ go, my dear. I found I
couldn't really bring myself to visit it when it came to the point, so
I went to call on LARKINS instead, as it was on his advice I had taken
the shares, and I told him my difficulty, and he quite sympathised
with my scruples, and most good-naturedly offered to take them off my
hands.
_Mrs. Toov._ But surely, THEOPHILUS, you never gave up three hundred
and fifty a year without so much as consulting Me!
_Charles._ You can't count on such dividends as a certainty, you know,
Aunt, and I've no doubt Uncle got rid of them at a very good figure;
they've been going up like sky-rockets!
_Mrs. Toov._ (_mollified_). Of course if your Uncle did _that_, I----
_Mr. Toov._ Well, you see, my love, CHARLES very properly pointed out
to me that there was no moral difference between that and keeping the
shares, and--and LARKINS took the same view himself; so (I'm sure,
CORNELIA, you will consider I have only done what was my strict duty!)
I agreed to surrender the shares for just what I paid for them--five
hundred pounds--and my conscience is clear.
_Mrs. Toov._ If it's no clearer than your _head_, Pa---- I never heard
of such downright Quixotism! As if _you_ could be held responsible; as
if anyone here need _know_! I call it folly--sheer ruinous folly!
_Ph[oe]be_ (_opening the door--to_ Mr. T.). A young gentleman to see
you, Sir; says he comes from Mr. LARKINS, with a paper to be filled
up. I've shown him into the study, Sir.
_Mr. Toov._ Ah, to be sure, yes; tell him I'll come. (_To_ Mrs. T.)
It's about those shares; LARKINS said he would send a clerk down to
complete the transfer.
_Mrs. Toov._ So it isn't completed _yet_? Mr. LARKINS has been trying
to get the better of you, Pa; but it's not too late, fortunately.
(_To_ PH[OE]BE.) Show the young man in here. _I_ wish to see him about
this business. (_As_ PH[OE]BE _goes_.) I shall insist on the fair
market value of the shares being paid before you put your signature
to any document whatever; leave this entirely to me, Pa. I _think_ I
shall be a match for any young----
_Ph[oe]be_ (_returning_). Mr. JANNAWAY.
_Mr. Jann._ (_to_ Mr. TOOVEY). From Mr. LARKINS, Sir. Brought a
transfer-deed for your signature.
_Mrs. Toov._ (_to herself_). Gracious goodness! It's the man whose
ears I boxed at the Eldorado! What _shall_ I do?
[_She seizes the current number of "The Quiver," and retires
behind it._
_Alth._ (_to herself_). He's _awfully_ like the young man in that box
on Saturday! If Mamma really _was_ there! (_She glances at_ Mrs.
T., _in whose hands "The Quiver" is rustling audibly_.) Ah, then I
_wasn't_ mistaken. Oh, how dreadful if he should recognise her!
_Mr. Toov._ My signature? Yes, yes, yes, to be sure, just so; but the
fact is, I--I've been thinking over the matter, and--and--but that
lady by the window will explain my views.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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