E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, Lesley Halamek, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 39420-h.htm or 39420-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/39420/pg39420-images.html) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/files/39420/39420-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 105 NOVEMBER 11th 1893 Edited by Sir Francis Burnand * * * * * [Illustration: POLICE PROTECTION FOR PIANISTS!! MADE NECESSARY BY THE ANTICS OF THE PADDED-ROOMSKI DEVOTEES AT ST. JAMES'S HALL, WHO RUSH AT, TRY TO EMBRACE, AND DECK WITH ROSES, A CERTAIN MASTER WHENEVER HE APPEARS.] * * * * * A QUESTION OF TINT. ["Who will paint London?"--_Daily News_.] What a question to ask! If the colour be blue, A batch of our London Minervas will do: For each one will dye--the allusion is shocking-- Our town and its streets with the tint of her stocking. Our pessimist frauds and the Ibsensite pack Will groan as they thickly bedaub it in black. Asiatic Sir EDWIN, the Poet of Light, He will wipe out their work, and arrange it in white. Then the Company-gulls will arrive on the scene, And, _presto_, the colour of London is green. And a rare crew of "Johnnies" will stay out of bed Till the daylight appears, while they paint the town red. In fact--and you'll thank me for giving the hint-- Painting London is merely a question of tint. * * * * * MRS. R. cannot call to mind where the original picture of "_The Waterloo Blanket_" is to be seen. * * * * * THE NOBLE ORGAN-GRINDER. ["Lord BRASSEY never goes on a cruise, however short, without taking with him a very costly barrel-organ. He plays on it regularly for some time every evening, as he finds it a congenial form of exercise and amusement."--_The World._] Grinder, when serenely grinding On your yacht the Hundredth Psalm, Tell me, are you truly finding In this work congenial charm? "Music hath" (an old quotation) "Charms to soothe the savage breast," Think how you might lull some nation Into dilettante rest. GRINDER, gentle-hearted Grinder, Try the savage who has spurned Culture, for he might grow kinder, Soothed by barrel deftly turned. Matabele LOBENGULA (Accent on penultimate) Might be made by music, you'll a- gree, a model potentate. ORPHEUS like, you might so charm him That a mere Mashona child's Hand could easily disarm him In those equatorial wilds. He would cease to wear his skimpy Kilts that leave his legs half bare, He would soon disband his _impi_; Culture then would be his care. Suits of dittos clothe this whopper; Patent leather boots be got; You might lead him--"smash, my topper!"-- Even to a chimney-pot.