SIR HENRY LOCH may hold the key In Africa, but all must see That RHODES the handle hath fast grip on, Shouts "Let her rip!"--despite Lord RIPON. Cut is poor LOBENGULA'S comb, 'Tis said that all roads lead to Rome. The new Ring that old saw explodes; Where'er we roam we're led to--RHODES. Whether or no this Great Panjandrum (Who handles well the pen, sword, _and_ drum) Is the true friend of Civilisation, And puts her laws in operation; At least he can maintain with pride, He has her Maxims on his side. * * * * * FABIUS FIN-DE-SIÈCLE. [The Fabian Society, in the _Fortnightly Review_, has "launched a manifesto, which proposes that the Government shall be attacked by extreme Radicals because it has only met them half way."] * * * * * STRANGE that a "Fabian policy," up-to-date, Should be so obviously _not_ to wait! Sure the Society's name is chosen ill! RUPERT the title-rôle might fitlier fill. The Fabian Manifesto frightens no man; But just conceive the great, but cautious, Roman Heading a restive, Radical "Ugly Rush"! Though Patience suffers in the Modern Crush, Perchance the Socialistic perorator Might learn a lesson from the great Cunctator! * * * * * THE CABMAN'S GUIDE TO POLITENESS.--No. II. _Question._ I think when you are out of temper, and have been asked by a Fare, who appears to know more (or less) about distances than you do, to stop, you pretend not to hear him? _Answer._ Yes; and I continue not to hear him until a policeman pulls me up. _Q._ Quite so; and then you have a way of giving a jerk while your Fare is getting in which either covers a lady's dress with mud, or all but breaks the leg of a gentleman? _A._ Well, I have known such things to happen. _Q._ And when you reach your destination, you carefully forget the number of the street or square, and are equally hard of hearing if your Fare attempts to direct you? _A._ You have hit it, especially if it's raining. _Q._ Of course. And when you get your money, you sneer and drive away, as if you were disgusted? _A._ Yes. And as I go off I make as much splash as I can, in the hope of my late fare getting a dose of the mud. _Q._ Exactly. Now, don't you think it would be better to come up cheerfully, drive carefully, and when you receive your money, observe, "Well, Sir (or Madam), I know I have no right to more, but times are hard, and if you would spare an extra sixpence, I should consider it a real kindness?" Would not that mode be better than the other? Would it not be more profitable? _A._ It might, but I can't say, as I have never tried it. _Q._ Again, what is your method of obtaining what you consider to be your rights from a mother with two boxes and four small children? _A._ Why I generally swear at the kids and sit on the boxes until I am paid what I ask, or get sent to the right-abouts by a policeman.