ARGENTINA. [It is stated that JABEZ S. BALFOUR is living "in a perfect fairy-land."] I Dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls, With orchids on every side, A very long way from Old Bailey's walls, Where NEWTON and HOBBS were tried. I had riches too great to count; could boast Of JABEZ, an elegant name; And I also dreamt, which charmed me most, Argentina loved me the same. I dreamt that my country let me go, In an indolent sort of way, For Scotland Yard did not seem to know It would "want" me another day. So they carefully closed the stable-door, When I'd fled beyond reach of blame; And I also dreamt, which charmed me more, Argentina loved me the same. I dreamt that detectives sought my hand, But their warrants I could not see. So their vows my swindler's heart could withstand, Though they pledged their faith to me. Buenos Ayres' bold, brazen face, Never glows with the blush of shame; Though I should be lynched in a decent place, Argentina loves me the same. * * * * * A GREAT FIELD FOR HUMORISTS ANNUALLY.--"_Wit acres'_ Almanack." * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M. P. _House of Commons, Thursday, November_ 2.--Began work again to-day as if nothing had happened from February to September. Understood to have had a recess; so short hardly worth mentioning. Considering all circumstances, attendance marvellously large. MARJORIBANKS got his men together as usual, crowding benches on Ministerial side. Opposition not in quite such a hurry to wash their spears; but muster creditable. Irish camp deserted. "You see," said JUSTIN MCCARTHY, "it isn't our funeral. But the bhoys are hanging round and will turn up if wanted." HENRY FOWLER moved Second Reading Parish Councils Bill. Adroit and able speech; rather hard on WALTER LONG; to him deputed position of spokesman on Front Opposition bench. Brought down notes of convincing speech. FOWLER getting in first anticipated all his objections; met them with benevolent alacrity that disarmed hostility. What did statesmen opposite want? Anything in reason should be conceded. "Give your orders, gents, whilst the waiter's in the room." [Illustration: PARLIAMENT BY PROXY.]