HYDE PARK AND KENSINGTON GARDENS. ONCE AGAIN!--M. ZOLA said "he would give forty Hyde Parks for one Bois de Boulogne." Bravo! So would all Londoners, especially equestrians, who year after year quietly put up with that one Rotten Row ride, and do not unite in their hundreds to petition "the authorities" (mysterious power!) for the opening of a ride through Kensington Gardens from south to north, and for a few "alleys" under the broad spreading trees, where now sometimes a few sheep, and sometimes a nursery maid and her charge, do stray. A "proposition" logically precedes a "rider;" in this case the proposition should come from the riders. * * * * * [Illustration: A LARGE ORDER. "WHAT CAN WE GET FOR YOU, MADAM?" "WINGS!"] * * * * * "MASTERLY INACTIVITY." ["The terms of the Treaty give complete satisfaction to the claims of France."--_M. le Myre de Vilers on the Franco-Siamese Draft Treaty_.] _John Bull, loquitur:_-- Settling it! Humph! And my Jingoes, no doubt, Would like me to shout "British Interests!" and "Robbery!!!" Well, of course, 'tis quite clear what those two are about, But _I_ do not feel called on to kick up a bobbery. Poor little Siam! It's rather a shame; But--at present--I shan't take a hand in the game. Complete satisfaction? Well, _that's_ something gained! "The claims" I had fancied a trifle elastic; "The terms" looked ambiguous, made to be strained, To politic pressure prepared to be plastic. _Micawber_ craved time, and a chance of "turn-up;" And craft has its uses as well as a Krupp. Sturdy assertion on one side that table, While scared acquiescence is seen on the other! Further development of the old fable. Wolf and the Lamb next, as brother with brother, Or new Franco-Siamese twins may appear; Well, I pity the Lamb, but I feel little fear. It isn't smart Treaties alone secure Trade, And if I keep the Trade they may keep all their Treaties. 'Tis not by mere craft your true Trader is made. The Frank as a diplomat neat and complete is, As Colonist-Trader, at settlement--shipment-- Well, there's something seems wanting about his equipment. Trade gravitates somehow, by natural law, To stickers and stayers, the firmest and fittest. A fig for mere parchment and diplomat jaw! Dear France, thou thy insular neighbour oft twittest As "Shopkeeper"! Well ma'am, _j'y suis_, and shall stop; For a Shopkeeper's one who--of course--_keeps the Shop_! I've had some experience. Far Hindostan, And Canada, Africa, Egypt--ah! pardon! That's just a sore point, and I am not the man A rival of me and my ways to be hard on. No; at a neat "counter" a cur only blubbers; And they who play bowls must expect to have rubbers.