3. Should you be unfortunate enough to knock down a pedestrian, do not trouble to stop and apologise, or inquire if he's hurt. It is his business to get out of your way, and you should remind him of this obligation in the most forcible language at your disposal. This will tend to make the pastime exceedingly popular among non-cyclists. 4. If you notice an old gentleman; crossing the road, wait till you get quite close to him, then emit a wild war-whoop, blow your trumpet, and enjoy the roaring fun of seeing what a shock you have given him. 5. A still better plan, if a wayfarer happens to be walking in the middle of the road, and going in your own direction, is _not_ to signal your approach at all, but to startle him into fits by suddenly and silently gliding by him when he believes himself to be quite alone. The nearer you can shave his person the better the sport. 6. Of course the last plan is much improved if the wayfarer should be a market woman carrying milk or eggs, and if in her fright she drops her can or basket. Unfortunately few cyclists have the good fortune to witness this exquisite bit of rural comedy. [_These Rules will now probably be thoroughly revised, as the "National Cyclists' Union" has issued a well-timed manifesto warning all wheelmen against "furious riding."_ * * * * * "Well," observed the amiable Mrs. SHARPTON SNAPPIE, "there's only one person whom I rate very highly--and that's my husband." [So she did--and rated him--soundly.] * * * * * [Illustration: A NEW TARIFF. "THIRD-CLASS SINGLE TO RUSWARP, PLEASE, AND A DOG-TICKET. HOW MUCH?" "FOURPENCE-HALFPENNY--THREEPENCE FOR THE DOG, AND THREE-HALFPENCE FOR YOURSELF." "AH! YOU RECKON BY _LEGS_ ON THIS LINE."] * * * * * NOT A FAIR EXCHANGE. (_An Exercise to be Translated from English into any Foreign Language_.) This is a thoroughly British home. I find chairs, sofas, curtains, and carpets. They all seem to be of British manufacture. No, they are not of British manufacture. On the contrary, they are all made in Germany. But surely this window is English? No, it is not English; it is put together in Sweden, and erected by Swiss workmen. But are not these pictures, these fire-irons, these card-tables, of home growth? No, for the pictures come from France, the fire-irons from Belgium, and the card-tables from Austria. The sofa, however, was surely bought in London? It may have been bought in London, but it was certainly made in Denmark. But the brass nails mast have arrived from Sheffield? No, they are now received from parts of Portugal, Spain, and Northern Russia.