By the way, why should not Sir LEPEL himself essay the _rôle_ of King COPHETUA, L.C.C., and help to beautify the modern Babylonian beggar-maid? He says that "the general administration of London is infinitely mean and inefficient," adding that "vested interests are chiefly to blame for the national disgrace." Very well. Let Sir LEPEL help to give those same Vested Interests "vun in the veskit," squelch the Jerry Builder, and arrest the march of "Uglification," and then--why then London will, as in duty bound, erect _his_ statue in place, and on the site of, that other, and very different "Griffin," which is the very incarnation of Uglification, and material embodiment of B[oe]otian Bumbledom! * * * * * NOT THE GIRL FOR HOT WEATHER.--One who "makes sunshine in a shady place." * * * * * LITTLE BILL-EE. (_Latest House of Lords' Version of Thackeray's Song._) There were three sailors of London City, Who took a boat and went to sea: There was guzzling BOB and gorging HARTY, And the youngest--he was Little BILL-EE! Poor Little BILL-EE was but a sailor-boy, And a very hard time in sooth had he. With a rope's-end he was fully familiar, And a marline-spike he shuddered to see. He had sailed in the ship of one Captain WILLYUM. Who had taught him sailing, and algebree, The use of the sextant, and navigation, Likewise the hornpipe, and fiddle-de-dee. The Captain's pet for a long, long voyage Had been this sailor-boy Little BILL-EE; Though some of the crew of the same were jealous, And larruped him sore--on the strict Q.T. But being paid off from WILLYUM'S wessel, The kid was kidnapped, and taken to sea By guzzling BOB and gorging HARTY, Who had long had their eye on poor Little BILL-EE. For guzzling BOB hated Captain WILLYUM, While gorging HARTY--well, there, you see, _He_'d been WILLYUM'S mate, but had cut the connection, And he couldn't abide poor Little BILL-EE. * * * * * Poor Little BILL-EE, he shrank and shuddered At going aboard; for he says, says he-- "When they get me aloft they will spifflicate me, And there'll be an end of poor little BILL-EE!" Which same seemed a sad foregone conclusion, Though Captain WILLYUM he skipped with glee, And cried, "Little BILL-EE, keep up your pecker! You shall yet be the Captain of a Seventy-three!" * * * * * Now, to keep up your pecker with naught to peck at Is mighty hard, as a fool may see; And BOB and HARTY (who loved not short commons) Cast eager eyes upon Little BILL-EE. Says guzzling BOB to gorging HARTY, "I am extremely hungaree;" To guzzling BOB says gorging HARTY, "Let's make a breakfast of Little BILL-EE.