_A._ It is bound to be with defective charts and other false guides to naval knowledge. _Q._ Then may it be justly assumed that we cannot count upon our ships, guns, and commanders? _A._ Why, certainly. _Q._ And yet you declare that England possesses the best possible fleet? _A._ I do, and the little drawbacks I have admitted have no force in qualifying the assertion. _Q._ Why have they not? _A._ Because all the drawbacks exist in the piping times of peace, and consequently the British navy will prove its superiority in the more dangerous days of war. * * * * * [Illustration: A PROMISING WITNESS! _Scotch Counsel (addressing an Old Woman in a case before Judge and Jury)._ "PRAY, MY GOOD WOMAN, DO YOU KEEP A DIARY?" _Witness._ "NAW, SIR, I KUPS A WHUSKEY SHOP!"] * * * * * NEW KING COAL CORRECTED. In the sub-heading of _Mr. Punch's_ Up-to-Date Nursery Rhyme, "New King COAL" (August 19, p. 74), a very obvious error was made in speaking of the colliers of Northumberland and Durham as "on strike," when in fact they were only "considering the advisability" of joining their Welsh "brothers" and Midland "mates" in a collective stand against the coal-owners. Since then, _Mr. Punch_ is glad to know, they have "thought better of it," and have _not_ joined the strike--having, perhaps, given "thoughtful consideration" to _Mr. Punch's_ friendly conundrum. "The bearings" of the New Nursery Rhyme "lie in its application," and are not altered by the writer's slip of the pen, to which, however, _Mr. Punch_ thanks various vigilant readers for, very properly, calling his attention. To the men's Federation 'twas _Punchius_ spoke: "The Capitalist can drink fizz and can smoke; And why should a lad who has eyes and can see, Follow fools like a lamb, and lose much _£_ _s._ _d._ Northumberland, Durham decline to come forth. When strikes suit the south they may not suit the north; So let every man who loves honour and right, Essay _Arbitration_ in lieu of brute fight!" * * * * * NO DOUBT OF IT.--Of course the admission detracts from our "LIKA JOKO'S" artistic skill, but evidently Mr. SWIFT-TO-AVENGE MACNEILL is a person very easily "drawn." * * * * * Coal Mine Owners have no big difficulties to contend with; in this life they have only to meet _miner_ troubles. * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.